Chapters & Souvenirs

This is day five of sitting in a small hospital room with my little girl. She is doing so much better and hopefully we'll be going home tonight. It was so unplanned and unexpected to end up spending this long in the hospital. Some things make you wonder 'what was the point of that God?' and sometimes we will never know. But maybe in my hurry to fall into the routine and rythm of my "new" life with two kids, God knew I needed some quiet time. It's funny how much you forget when you never stop to think and pray a while.

I was just listening to Switchfoot's Souvenirs song (which is one of the things I've forgotten and re-discovered this week...my love for music). It's a song about memories and life happening without you realizing it. It reminds me of a conversation that my husband and I recently had about chapters in life. Throughout the years there are different themes and seasons that make up the different chapters. Funny thing is that we usually don't notice we are in a new chapter until we're right in the middle of it. In fact, we usually don't realize a chapter is closing until after it's closed!

It was Valentine's Day, actually, and we were reminiscing the time before we had kids. We had such freedom and flexibility in our decisions and schedule that we didn't even realize! We have so many wonderful memories. And then our son was born and we fell in love with him. Life would never be complete without him. But somewhere along that new chapter we suddenly realized that the last one was closed. Then we had our daughter, and the flexibility of having only one child suddenly disappeared. Another chapter closed.

You'd think since this happens all the time, we would be ready for the closing and opening of chapters, but somehow we never feel ready. That's why I kind of giggle when couples say they are waiting to have kids until they are ready. When they have their first kid they will realize that no matter how "ready" they felt, they still weren't ready enough. Life just happens and we learn as we go. There is a tinge of bittersweet feelings when you look back at what you had that you don't have anymore. But it's so awesome that every chapter is better than the last. When you walk life with your trust placed steadily in God, every new chapter brings something better and a happy ending is not just a hope, it's a reality.

This extended time to ponder and think has made me remember that there are things in the past that I wasn't supposed to leave behind, and there are things in the future that I need to keep my focus on. But mostly, I want to live fully in the present, remembering that every day is a page turned in this chapter and if I don't enjoy it fully and give it my all, I'll never get it back again. You know, it's the 'stop and smell the roses' type of thing. :)