That Woman He Married

Do you remember that woman he married? Yes, he, your husband. Have you ever wondered where she went? Or have you looked back at your wedding pictures and wondered who that man was?

You see, there's a myth that says you're not supposed to change from the day you got married. I've heard it so many times from disillusioned wives, "I'm just not like I used to be." Think about it, though. Were you the same at 10 years old as you were at 15? Or from 15 to 18? 18 to 23? Of course not. We are meant to change. Hopefully for the better. Yet after the honeymoon, when the bills pile up and the kids get whiny and you never, ever sleep in, it's tempting to look back and yearn for those carefree, happy days. Not that you're not happy now, but life gets so serious and difficult. Or sometimes just tedious. It's easy for us moms, particularly, to look at our life full of diapers, spit-up and dirty dishes and wonder "what happened?" and "who have I become?"

Well, my answer would be, I am older, deeper and a little wiser than I was before. I've experienced the deepest wells of pain and love that bring life to sweet little babes. I've known the reality of self-sacrifice for the good and survival of others. I've learned that love is a choice, not just a feeling.

That woman my husband married didn't really know any of that. So thank God I'm not that woman  and he isn't that man anymore. We change, learn and grow together and even in the hardest, most unattractive and misunderstood moments, we know that at the end of the day, we're best friends and by God's grace, we will get through anything together. I don't want to be who I was before. I want to be better, give more, love more. I want my husband to be more in love with me today than the day we were married. So, no, I'm not that woman he married anymore. ;)