In honor of our recent 5th Wedding Anniversary, I wanted to reminisce a little. Obviously, around this date, there are always thoughts of that special day and the memories that it brings. But after five years, I also get a strange sense of unfamiliarity when I think of that young couple that thought they were in love. We were so different back then, so naive and definitely in love; yet looking back, it feels like we barely knew each other or the depth of true love! Most people will tell you that the first year of marriage is one of the hardest and that once the honeymoon is over, it's over! We are thankful that a wise couple advised us before we got married to not accept those common thoughts about marriage. They said the honeymoon doesn't have to be over and being "in love" doesn't need to disappear, but it's a daily choice we have to make.
That advice has stuck with us through the years. Of course, back then "choosing" to be in love sounded so easy. Piece of cake. It truly takes only a couple weeks after the wedding, or even days, to realize the meaning of "choice" though! That first year, I remember so many emotions and misunderstandings, so many frustrating conversations as we tried to understand each other and why we saw things so differently sometimes. The biggest realization I remember having over and over was of what a selfish person I was! I had no clue I was that selfish until I got married!
It was a tough year in many ways, but also sprinkled with plenty of wonderful memories, especially when we worked through things together and gained a deeper understanding of how God made us to complement each other. One of the biggest changes that we went through, as I imagine many couples do, was learning to be best friends. We thought we were best friends before we got married, of course, but through struggling and working and surviving together, we truly became best friends. And now, after five years, our depth of love and friendship seems so much stronger than it was then. The honeymoon isn't over. Rather, looking back I think "We called that a honeymoon??" :) I don't know what I was thinking then, but now I know what being in love really is! After all we've been through, highs and lows, challenges and successes, I can honestly say I am more excited to see my husband come home from work an to spend time with him than I've ever been. We are on an incredible journey together and we love it, even the hard parts! And this is only after 5 years...it just keeps getting better! We feel so blessed by the examples and influences we have had in our marriage, so much so that one of our dreams now is to help other marriages thrive and discover those depths of love that God created for marriage as well.
We are in the thick of the child-rearing years (another one of the hardest times a marriage goes through) and we have heard so many times how important it is for couples to get away and spend time together without the kids. For us that hasn't been easy since we've had a lot of transition in the past couple years and both sets of grandparents live far away. So finally, to celebrate our 5 years together, we made it happen! We went on a little getaway and it was so refreshing! We are now big advocates of couples doing this at least once a year! It wasn't easy to leave our 1 and 2-year-olds for the first time and we did spend a lot of the time talking about them (haha) but that's the season of life we are in. We planned, we prayed, we dreamed, we laughed. We came back with renewed energy and strength for our life and our kids. I really am hoping we can do this more than once a year! :) It's definitely worth the time, effort and money!
In conclusion, as a mom of two toddlers, eight months pregnant, surrounded by diapers and toys and always carrying way more than I can handle anywhere I go, I do indeed look at younger couples and newlyweds and think "you have no clue what true love is all about"...but I do hope you discover it because it's amazing! :)
{To my husband: You make it easy to be in love!}
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