Fruitfulness

At the beginning of this year, I was wrapping my brain around being called things like "Fertile Myrtle". By a midwife. It was an unexpected, very quick pregnancy, since I found out almost halfway through! (Yes, that's possible.) Before I knew it, I had three kids under three years old...and I'm still trying to wrap my brain around that!

But that's not the kind of "fruitfulness" I want to talk about. With this new chapter in life I have also encountered a strong struggle with the things that flow out of me, things like the fruit of the Spirit. I'm talking about Galatians 5:22-23 "But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such there is no law."

Some days it seems like I'm praying for peace all day long. Other days it feels like my suffering is long but I don't really have longsuffering (endurance, patience...). Still other days kindness and gentleness are no where to be found in my emotions. I have always thought that we should be working hard to achieve these things in our lives. I've even considered focusing on one of these every week to try to make each of them more of a habit in my life. That may not be a bad idea, but just recently I realized something that I think is significant: you can't make fruit.

Really. You can't. Nobody sits down and says "I'm going to make an apple today". But you can plant a seed and care for it. And when it grows into a little plant, you can tend it until it grows into a big tree and produces apples. The fruit of that tree (and plant, and seed) is apple. Well, that verse said that the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, etc. Therefore what is it that needs tending and careful attention? The Spirit. So all those things I desire to see being produced in me should come naturally out of the time and attention I give to connecting with the Spirit of God, with the one Jesus described as our "helper" and "teacher" (John 14:26). Boy, I could use some help some days...actually, lots of help!

This is just something I've been chewing on for a while. It's kind of freeing to realize that all I have to do is constantly run to the Lord, and then the woman he made me to be will naturally be. I don't need to strive and try to make things happen in my life on my own.