Yes, I'm A Stay-At-Home Mom

Once you've had a child, there is no question about the importance and significance of your role as a mother. You give your all to your kids and you know it's worth it. But every now and then a little nagging feeling creeps up...what about you? what about the talents and dreams you had? did you accomplish everything you were supposed to before this? did you miss something along the way that you will never get back?

Maybe not all moms have these feelings. I know women who wanted to "be a mommy" since they were three years old. But I get these feeling sometimes. It's usually when I start listening to the voices around me that suggest that changing diapers, hanging clothes on the line and cooking from scratch is not good enough. Don't you work? Don't you get bored? Don't you do anything else?

Well, not only do I work 24/7, but I have the most important job in the world: raising and influencing my God-loving world-changing children, and creating an inspiring haven for my husband to rest and be energized for what God has called us to accomplish together.

As far as myself...I realized recently that for some reason it's so much easier to listen to all the negative voices instead of hearing what my amazing Father says about me and believing it! I need to have His words in my mind and heart, so this is what I've started doing: personalizing what God says about me in the Word. This is what I read today (maybe you can read it about yourself and be encouraged):

"...to bestow on her a crown of beauty instead of ashes, the oil of gladness instead of mourning, and a garment of praise instead of the spirit of despair. She will be called an oak of righteousness, a planting of the Lord for the display of his splendor. Instead of her shame, she will receive a double portion...and everlasting joy will be hers. In my faithfulness i will reward her and make an everlasting covenant with her...all who see her will acknowledge that she is a woman the Lord has blessed." (From Isaiah 61, paraphrased)

Yep, that's me and you! He said it! Now live like it and see the difference!

One Year!

Wow, it has been too long since the last time I wrote anything! As any mom could tell you, sometimes your favorite things to do have to take a seat while you tend to more important favorite things, like my dimply silly goose who turned one today! I have to admit that I didn't see it coming...the emotions, I mean. The whirlwind of crazy adventures, new experiences and bonding moments of the past year all caught up to me and made me a tearful mess. Once again, my hero of a husband was there to hold and comfort, even though he knows I don't always make sense...how can I go on and on about cupcakes and gifts, yet be so sad at the same time? Isn't this a celebration? Well, they say it, you say it, I say it: time flies. There is nothing we can do about it. Yet one of my favorite things about being a mom is that every morning, when my little boy wakes up and holds his arms up to me, he is excited for a new day. His smile is big, his laughter contagious and no matter what we have left forever behind, the day ahead is full of joy and discovery. So was this first birthday morning, and we had fun together and it was a celebration of the joy that God has filled us with through this little life! Motherhood can be so bittersweet, but always more sweet than bitter.

So after 21 days...

...here is the honest truth of what I learned (in reference to 21 Days in 2011). Have I mentioned before that I have a tendency towards perfectionism? Well, setting super-high goals goes hand-in-hand with that ...so these are the results of my lofty intentions:

1. Gone are the days of spending unlimited, uninterrupted time studying the Bible...or anything else, for that matter! A few minutes here and there are all you get with an increasingly curious (and lately also sick) little crawler.

2. A sleep-deprived momma with nothing but fruits, vegetable and a few peanuts in her stomach is a crabby momma! Oh, it sounded so deep and adventurous, but the reality is that twenty one days without sugar, coffee or any type of comfort food is a loooong time!

3. A crabby momma has a crabby and often self-centered heart! In my quest to learn more about God's view of the heart, I saw first-hand the ugly view of mine and how desperately in need of God's grace it is. (Whoever started that "follow your heart" stuff is really, really wrong.)

That was a good description of the first week. Every entry I made in my journal during that time starts out thanking God for being so thoughtful to provide new mercies every morning, because I had definitely used them up the previous day! But as I trudged on, praying for God to change me, He did. I began to wonder where all the deep spiritual significance of this whole ordeal was, but I started to recognize that I had made up my mind what God would do. I forgot He has his own plans. Apparently the big, obvious part of his plan for my 21 days was a smoothing out of the sharp edges in my character. That first week, my sweet husband kept looking at me with big eyes and eyebrows raised as if to say "Are you sure this is a good idea?" But each day got a little better and by God's many mercies and grace, I think I've at least started to learn the habit of yielding my heart, attitudes and character to the Lord and not letting them rule me. Sounds pretty basic I guess, but some things need to be re-learned in the different stages of life we face.

Oh, and I discovered how much I love bananas.

A Joy-Moment

Anyone who has known me for a long time knows that I have many Joy-moments. These are not necessarily moments of joy...well, not exactly. They do usually bring laughter to other people though.

The other day I had one such Joy-moment as I was driving my aunt's car to pick her up at the airport. It was my first time driving her nice car and my first time driving by myself into the huge busy city we just moved close to, so I was a little nervous. However I was mostly proud of myself for being so capable and independent. After a while on the freeway, I started feeling good about myself for being such a good driver and not speeding like all the other cars around me. I kept telling my cousin who was sitting in the passenger seat, "Goodness, people are in a hurry around here!" Then a few seconds later, "This car really goes a lot faster than it feels!" A few seconds later, "I don't understand why all these people are going so ridiculously fast and I am already 10 miles over the limit!"

She finally spoke up. "Joy, that's kilometers per hour, not miles!"

I had never noticed the mexican license plates on her car. :)

If I Were A Rich (wo)Man...

If there is one thing that I need, hate, love, want, think of a lot and wish it totally didn't exist...it would be money. Having money in your hand is a blessing, but the way it can control and define your life is a pain! This past month of May I've had many interesting lessons and thoughts come up about money, of all things. Let me say that for us, May is like christmastime. There are more birthdays, anniversaries, graduations and holidays than any other month! And this year included three weddings as well! So I think a lot about money during the month of May.

Did I mention it's my birthday in May too? I used to like May, but now I feel like the kid whose birthday is too close to Christmas. Or maybe I'm just getting too old to make a big deal out of birthdays. Anyway, a dear friend gave me $20 for my birthday and you don't know how excited that made me! I spent a couple weeks trying to decide what to spend it on. I made lists, of course, of my top desires. I picked out several things at Target, walked around and looked at other options and after a long time finally headed to the registers, only to turn around and put it all back. Then I went home confused and defeated. What is wrong with me!?

Once upon a time I used to be a shop-aholic. Not that I ever had much money to spend but I distinctly remember the awful, sickening feeling of leaving a store without having bought anything. I had to buy something! I just had to. If I didn't, crabbyness and discontentment were sure to follow.

That drastically started to change when I went off to college and didn't have a mom to convince that "I really NEED this". And it changed even more drastically when I got married and the responsibility of adulthood seriously set in. But maybe I've gone a little to drastic when I can't even spend $20 on myself for my birthday!

Well, the real reason I went home empty-handed from Target that day was because I had just read Proverbs 17:16 "Of what use is money in the hand of a fool, since he has no desire to get wisdom."

For the first time ever I understood that you can buy wisdom, not just learn it or pray for it, but buy it with money. Some time later I heard this quote: "There are two ways to be rich. One is to have a lot of money and the other way is to not need a lot to be happy."

I've become really convicted about how I use money and what I allow to define my happiness. I can honestly say that I would rather be the second definition of "rich" in that quote. Although I would love to go shopping and buy a lot of things I want, I have lately been so strangely attracted by living a simple life full of simple joys. But I am still trying to wrap my mind around how a useless purchase is different from a wise purchase, and then how that is different from purchasing wisdom. Any thoughts, ideas or experiences to share? Leave a comment!

In case you're wondering about my $20, I got a couple awesome books from Amazon and I'm so happy I did because they are adding so much wisdom to my life! (Growing Grateful Kids by Susie Larson and Miserly Moms by Jonni McCoy...REALLY recommend both! That last one is about money!)

Who & Why

My name is Joy and the name of this blog is absolutely pun intended. I love that my name often reminds people of a song or prompts them to make a play on words. I don't mind. It challenges me to learn the depth and meaning of my name and to actually live it out... after all, who wants a sad Joy? Yet, I'm just a person, a female person, with all the emotions and roller-coaster ups and downs that come included in the "Being-A-Girl" package. Still, I love my life! I'm a young wife and very soon I will be a young mother. Seasons have been changing drastically and quickly for me in the past few years, yet there is a recurring theme that has followed me through everything and I’m not talking about the theme of “joy”. Actually, it is the theme of “learning”. No matter what I've gone through or learned before, there is always more! And this is what brought me to start this blog. As I go through the joys and challenges of being a wife and a mom, I am inspired to learn to be the best I can be. I am also made aware of how much there is to learn and how much I need other wives and moms to inspire me and share their wisdom. (Husbands and dads and everyone in the "Being-A-Boy" package are also welcome!) I suspect it is the same for every wife and mom, no matter how long they’ve been on this journey. So as I am inspired by the things I learn, I thought I would share them and maybe inspire or encourage someone else. So enJOY and leave a comment or inspiration of your own.