One of the main things any mama is told while pregnant and after giving birth is to eat well. Your baby's health depends so much on your own health. Have you ever thought of that beyond food though?
Just like it can be so hard to chose the salad over the donut, it is equally hard to chose "higher quality" things to feed your mind, heart and spirit with! We all know the best decisions are not made when we are tired and the fact is, we mamas are almost always tired.
Showing posts with label Marriage. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Marriage. Show all posts
Tuesday, October 15, 2013
You Can't Do It
How's that for encouraging? This seems to be the message I keep getting lately in every area of life: you can't do it. It's actually an encouraging message! You see, I'm not capable, talented or wise enough. I'm not sufficiently loving, caring or compassionate...and heaven knows I'm not patient enough. I came to the great realization that NOBODY is born naturally patient. We've all said things like "I just don't have patience for that." Well, no one does. "I'm so patient" said no one ever! :)
There are situations and seasons of life that are just plain hard. Surely you can point to several in your past or your present. I thought it was just me for a while, but every time people see us with our three kids ages 3 and under, they give us that look that says "that's tough". And they don't mean it in a bad way. It is tough. Specially if they themselves have graduated from the baby/toddler stage of parenting, they know. It has helped me feel validated that I'm not just bad at this...this really is hard and it's ok to struggle. Parenting is one of the hardest things we have ever done and we are only three years into it!
Then there's marriage... no wonder they say most divorces happen when the kids are toddlers or after they've graduated from school! Take two sleep-deprived, exhausted-in-every-way people and surround them with cute darlings who cry a lot, stink often and who cause them to self-sacrifice in more ways than they ever imagined... let's just say, it's not a very romantic picture!
And yet, I can honestly say that I LOVE my life with all my heart. I am in love with my sweet husband more than ever, and I melt with love over my beautiful babies every single day. The reason is that I'm learning more and more that I can't do this at all. But nothing is impossible with God! I'm never enough, but He always is. I don't have what it takes, but He has that and more! If I had any bit of capability for managing on my own, I wouldn't need God in my life. But I do need Him and that is why even some of the toughest times can be the most beautiful. I've learned that even asking Him to take hardships away isn't always the best answer because it is through these things that He makes every day more beautiful than the last.
It's still hard. It's more work than I ever imagined. I still cry. I often feel frazzled. And then I remember I can't do it because I'm not supposed to do it alone. If God is for us, who can be against us?
There are situations and seasons of life that are just plain hard. Surely you can point to several in your past or your present. I thought it was just me for a while, but every time people see us with our three kids ages 3 and under, they give us that look that says "that's tough". And they don't mean it in a bad way. It is tough. Specially if they themselves have graduated from the baby/toddler stage of parenting, they know. It has helped me feel validated that I'm not just bad at this...this really is hard and it's ok to struggle. Parenting is one of the hardest things we have ever done and we are only three years into it!
Then there's marriage... no wonder they say most divorces happen when the kids are toddlers or after they've graduated from school! Take two sleep-deprived, exhausted-in-every-way people and surround them with cute darlings who cry a lot, stink often and who cause them to self-sacrifice in more ways than they ever imagined... let's just say, it's not a very romantic picture!
And yet, I can honestly say that I LOVE my life with all my heart. I am in love with my sweet husband more than ever, and I melt with love over my beautiful babies every single day. The reason is that I'm learning more and more that I can't do this at all. But nothing is impossible with God! I'm never enough, but He always is. I don't have what it takes, but He has that and more! If I had any bit of capability for managing on my own, I wouldn't need God in my life. But I do need Him and that is why even some of the toughest times can be the most beautiful. I've learned that even asking Him to take hardships away isn't always the best answer because it is through these things that He makes every day more beautiful than the last.
It's still hard. It's more work than I ever imagined. I still cry. I often feel frazzled. And then I remember I can't do it because I'm not supposed to do it alone. If God is for us, who can be against us?
Thursday, September 12, 2013
That Woman He Married
Do you remember that woman he married? Yes, he, your husband. Have you ever wondered where she went? Or have you looked back at your wedding pictures and wondered who that man was?
You see, there's a myth that says you're not supposed to change from the day you got married. I've heard it so many times from disillusioned wives, "I'm just not like I used to be." Think about it, though. Were you the same at 10 years old as you were at 15? Or from 15 to 18? 18 to 23? Of course not. We are meant to change. Hopefully for the better. Yet after the honeymoon, when the bills pile up and the kids get whiny and you never, ever sleep in, it's tempting to look back and yearn for those carefree, happy days. Not that you're not happy now, but life gets so serious and difficult. Or sometimes just tedious. It's easy for us moms, particularly, to look at our life full of diapers, spit-up and dirty dishes and wonder "what happened?" and "who have I become?"
Well, my answer would be, I am older, deeper and a little wiser than I was before. I've experienced the deepest wells of pain and love that bring life to sweet little babes. I've known the reality of self-sacrifice for the good and survival of others. I've learned that love is a choice, not just a feeling.
That woman my husband married didn't really know any of that. So thank God I'm not that woman and he isn't that man anymore. We change, learn and grow together and even in the hardest, most unattractive and misunderstood moments, we know that at the end of the day, we're best friends and by God's grace, we will get through anything together. I don't want to be who I was before. I want to be better, give more, love more. I want my husband to be more in love with me today than the day we were married. So, no, I'm not that woman he married anymore. ;)
You see, there's a myth that says you're not supposed to change from the day you got married. I've heard it so many times from disillusioned wives, "I'm just not like I used to be." Think about it, though. Were you the same at 10 years old as you were at 15? Or from 15 to 18? 18 to 23? Of course not. We are meant to change. Hopefully for the better. Yet after the honeymoon, when the bills pile up and the kids get whiny and you never, ever sleep in, it's tempting to look back and yearn for those carefree, happy days. Not that you're not happy now, but life gets so serious and difficult. Or sometimes just tedious. It's easy for us moms, particularly, to look at our life full of diapers, spit-up and dirty dishes and wonder "what happened?" and "who have I become?"
Well, my answer would be, I am older, deeper and a little wiser than I was before. I've experienced the deepest wells of pain and love that bring life to sweet little babes. I've known the reality of self-sacrifice for the good and survival of others. I've learned that love is a choice, not just a feeling.
That woman my husband married didn't really know any of that. So thank God I'm not that woman and he isn't that man anymore. We change, learn and grow together and even in the hardest, most unattractive and misunderstood moments, we know that at the end of the day, we're best friends and by God's grace, we will get through anything together. I don't want to be who I was before. I want to be better, give more, love more. I want my husband to be more in love with me today than the day we were married. So, no, I'm not that woman he married anymore. ;)
Saturday, July 27, 2013
A Problem with Date Nights
Almost every marriage book, conference speaker or counselor will tell you that having a regular date night is essential for a healthy marriage. Well, I don't know if I'm the only one who has wondered what is wrong with my marriage because we never seem to accomplish that. During our entire courtship and most of our engagement, we lived in different cities and even different countries at times. It wasn't until two months before our wedding that we lived in the same city. Then after we got married we had opposite schedules for the first year and a half. Needless to say, we've never had a regular weekly date night.
Like us, not everyone has an 8 to 4 job and dependable routine life. Also, like us, I am sure many young couples find themselves in a hard-working, school-loan-paying, money-saving season of life where going out to fancy (or any) restaurants and paying babysitters is just not possible on a regular basis. So then, is something wrong with our marriages? Are we guilty of not giving our relationship the priority it should have?
It dawned on me the other day that the point of "date night" is doing things together, but many marriage experts will emphasize that you should "do fun things" together. Although that may be true, I realized that the key isn't what you do, but the attitude you have about your relationship and life in general. If you haven't learned to enjoy life together, whether it's a fun date night or an exhausting sleepless night with crying babies, then no amount of "fun" will make your marriage succeed. The truth is that you could go on extravagant, fun and romantic date nights every week and still not be happy or feel satisfied because it's the tough times together that really draw you close. Life is full of long, hard days, trying moments and challenges. Some seasons are full of hard work and not a lot of free time or extra money. I'm not advocating that we should forget about making time for each other, but I am realizing that true unity and contentment in marriage is found in enjoying life together, whatever that may look like at the moment. Paul says in the Bible, "Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice!" (Philippians 4:4) I would say Paul was trying to emphasize something, wouldn't you? I think it's because it works! When you are able to find joy and even humor in the tough times together, it makes the fun times even better. Date night then becomes not just something we "do" but an actual celebration of our marriage and of the blessing of sharing life together. That's the kind of healthy marriage I want to have!
Like us, not everyone has an 8 to 4 job and dependable routine life. Also, like us, I am sure many young couples find themselves in a hard-working, school-loan-paying, money-saving season of life where going out to fancy (or any) restaurants and paying babysitters is just not possible on a regular basis. So then, is something wrong with our marriages? Are we guilty of not giving our relationship the priority it should have?
It dawned on me the other day that the point of "date night" is doing things together, but many marriage experts will emphasize that you should "do fun things" together. Although that may be true, I realized that the key isn't what you do, but the attitude you have about your relationship and life in general. If you haven't learned to enjoy life together, whether it's a fun date night or an exhausting sleepless night with crying babies, then no amount of "fun" will make your marriage succeed. The truth is that you could go on extravagant, fun and romantic date nights every week and still not be happy or feel satisfied because it's the tough times together that really draw you close. Life is full of long, hard days, trying moments and challenges. Some seasons are full of hard work and not a lot of free time or extra money. I'm not advocating that we should forget about making time for each other, but I am realizing that true unity and contentment in marriage is found in enjoying life together, whatever that may look like at the moment. Paul says in the Bible, "Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice!" (Philippians 4:4) I would say Paul was trying to emphasize something, wouldn't you? I think it's because it works! When you are able to find joy and even humor in the tough times together, it makes the fun times even better. Date night then becomes not just something we "do" but an actual celebration of our marriage and of the blessing of sharing life together. That's the kind of healthy marriage I want to have!
Tuesday, March 5, 2013
Five Years Later: Head Over Heels!
In honor of our recent 5th Wedding Anniversary, I wanted to reminisce a little. Obviously, around this date, there are always thoughts of that special day and the memories that it brings. But after five years, I also get a strange sense of unfamiliarity when I think of that young couple that thought they were in love. We were so different back then, so naive and definitely in love; yet looking back, it feels like we barely knew each other or the depth of true love! Most people will tell you that the first year of marriage is one of the hardest and that once the honeymoon is over, it's over! We are thankful that a wise couple advised us before we got married to not accept those common thoughts about marriage. They said the honeymoon doesn't have to be over and being "in love" doesn't need to disappear, but it's a daily choice we have to make.
That advice has stuck with us through the years. Of course, back then "choosing" to be in love sounded so easy. Piece of cake. It truly takes only a couple weeks after the wedding, or even days, to realize the meaning of "choice" though! That first year, I remember so many emotions and misunderstandings, so many frustrating conversations as we tried to understand each other and why we saw things so differently sometimes. The biggest realization I remember having over and over was of what a selfish person I was! I had no clue I was that selfish until I got married!
It was a tough year in many ways, but also sprinkled with plenty of wonderful memories, especially when we worked through things together and gained a deeper understanding of how God made us to complement each other. One of the biggest changes that we went through, as I imagine many couples do, was learning to be best friends. We thought we were best friends before we got married, of course, but through struggling and working and surviving together, we truly became best friends. And now, after five years, our depth of love and friendship seems so much stronger than it was then. The honeymoon isn't over. Rather, looking back I think "We called that a honeymoon??" :) I don't know what I was thinking then, but now I know what being in love really is! After all we've been through, highs and lows, challenges and successes, I can honestly say I am more excited to see my husband come home from work an to spend time with him than I've ever been. We are on an incredible journey together and we love it, even the hard parts! And this is only after 5 years...it just keeps getting better! We feel so blessed by the examples and influences we have had in our marriage, so much so that one of our dreams now is to help other marriages thrive and discover those depths of love that God created for marriage as well.
We are in the thick of the child-rearing years (another one of the hardest times a marriage goes through) and we have heard so many times how important it is for couples to get away and spend time together without the kids. For us that hasn't been easy since we've had a lot of transition in the past couple years and both sets of grandparents live far away. So finally, to celebrate our 5 years together, we made it happen! We went on a little getaway and it was so refreshing! We are now big advocates of couples doing this at least once a year! It wasn't easy to leave our 1 and 2-year-olds for the first time and we did spend a lot of the time talking about them (haha) but that's the season of life we are in. We planned, we prayed, we dreamed, we laughed. We came back with renewed energy and strength for our life and our kids. I really am hoping we can do this more than once a year! :) It's definitely worth the time, effort and money!
In conclusion, as a mom of two toddlers, eight months pregnant, surrounded by diapers and toys and always carrying way more than I can handle anywhere I go, I do indeed look at younger couples and newlyweds and think "you have no clue what true love is all about"...but I do hope you discover it because it's amazing! :)
{To my husband: You make it easy to be in love!}
That advice has stuck with us through the years. Of course, back then "choosing" to be in love sounded so easy. Piece of cake. It truly takes only a couple weeks after the wedding, or even days, to realize the meaning of "choice" though! That first year, I remember so many emotions and misunderstandings, so many frustrating conversations as we tried to understand each other and why we saw things so differently sometimes. The biggest realization I remember having over and over was of what a selfish person I was! I had no clue I was that selfish until I got married!
It was a tough year in many ways, but also sprinkled with plenty of wonderful memories, especially when we worked through things together and gained a deeper understanding of how God made us to complement each other. One of the biggest changes that we went through, as I imagine many couples do, was learning to be best friends. We thought we were best friends before we got married, of course, but through struggling and working and surviving together, we truly became best friends. And now, after five years, our depth of love and friendship seems so much stronger than it was then. The honeymoon isn't over. Rather, looking back I think "We called that a honeymoon??" :) I don't know what I was thinking then, but now I know what being in love really is! After all we've been through, highs and lows, challenges and successes, I can honestly say I am more excited to see my husband come home from work an to spend time with him than I've ever been. We are on an incredible journey together and we love it, even the hard parts! And this is only after 5 years...it just keeps getting better! We feel so blessed by the examples and influences we have had in our marriage, so much so that one of our dreams now is to help other marriages thrive and discover those depths of love that God created for marriage as well.
We are in the thick of the child-rearing years (another one of the hardest times a marriage goes through) and we have heard so many times how important it is for couples to get away and spend time together without the kids. For us that hasn't been easy since we've had a lot of transition in the past couple years and both sets of grandparents live far away. So finally, to celebrate our 5 years together, we made it happen! We went on a little getaway and it was so refreshing! We are now big advocates of couples doing this at least once a year! It wasn't easy to leave our 1 and 2-year-olds for the first time and we did spend a lot of the time talking about them (haha) but that's the season of life we are in. We planned, we prayed, we dreamed, we laughed. We came back with renewed energy and strength for our life and our kids. I really am hoping we can do this more than once a year! :) It's definitely worth the time, effort and money!
In conclusion, as a mom of two toddlers, eight months pregnant, surrounded by diapers and toys and always carrying way more than I can handle anywhere I go, I do indeed look at younger couples and newlyweds and think "you have no clue what true love is all about"...but I do hope you discover it because it's amazing! :)
{To my husband: You make it easy to be in love!}
Monday, January 21, 2013
Definitely a Season of "New"
It has been way too long, again, since I've written anything for many reasons:
1. Re-locating to a new area right before the holidays hit = crazy and forever long to get back into routine.
2. Holidays. Who has time for anything around that time? As fun as they can be, I'm one of those who is always glad when it's over.
3. Right in the middle of December, as we were working hard towards routine, I got my healthy meal plans going, we joined the YMCA and started working out, we were feeling good about ourselves... but my post-baby belly was not going away. In fact, I tried to blame my imagination, but I could swear it was getting bigger! And then...surprise!! My husband and I were on our way to being outnumbered by the little people in our home!
4. ...on our way to being outnumbered, not in 9 months, but in just under 5! I've heard all the questions that go through people's heads about this and I can give you many reasons (all of the above and more), but it's just one of those situations where I didn't know I was pregnant until I was 19 weeks and no, I'm not making it up.
5. Vacation! Put all of the above together and you can imagine how excited we were for family vacation with my folks! It was a wonderful time ...but unfortunately, we all got very sick, mostly me and baby girl (not the one in the belly, whose gender I don't know) and...
6. ...we both had terrible colds, coughs and fevers that lasted a couple weeks into January. My cough was bad enough that I tore a muscle in my side! That still hurts now, but thankfully I've been almost cough-free for 24 hours now!
So, all in all, it's been quite a holiday/new year season. Many adventures, many surprises. And I'm still trying to find my routine. I'm not giving it up for lost yet. I know it's around here somewhere! :) I'm seriously just so anxious and excited to finally plug in and get involved in our new community and church! Moving right before the holidays made establishing ourselves here a much longer process than we wished and now my goal it to make that happen before our new baby arrives!
Almost every moment I have with my 2 and almost 1 year-olds, I ask myself how in the world this is going to work with three!? But something that I've been learning to understanding lately is this: God never tests our ability to stand on our own or even to show how strong we are. He only tests our ability to run to Him and rely on His power. How amazing is that!!
1. Re-locating to a new area right before the holidays hit = crazy and forever long to get back into routine.
2. Holidays. Who has time for anything around that time? As fun as they can be, I'm one of those who is always glad when it's over.
3. Right in the middle of December, as we were working hard towards routine, I got my healthy meal plans going, we joined the YMCA and started working out, we were feeling good about ourselves... but my post-baby belly was not going away. In fact, I tried to blame my imagination, but I could swear it was getting bigger! And then...surprise!! My husband and I were on our way to being outnumbered by the little people in our home!
4. ...on our way to being outnumbered, not in 9 months, but in just under 5! I've heard all the questions that go through people's heads about this and I can give you many reasons (all of the above and more), but it's just one of those situations where I didn't know I was pregnant until I was 19 weeks and no, I'm not making it up.
5. Vacation! Put all of the above together and you can imagine how excited we were for family vacation with my folks! It was a wonderful time ...but unfortunately, we all got very sick, mostly me and baby girl (not the one in the belly, whose gender I don't know) and...
6. ...we both had terrible colds, coughs and fevers that lasted a couple weeks into January. My cough was bad enough that I tore a muscle in my side! That still hurts now, but thankfully I've been almost cough-free for 24 hours now!
So, all in all, it's been quite a holiday/new year season. Many adventures, many surprises. And I'm still trying to find my routine. I'm not giving it up for lost yet. I know it's around here somewhere! :) I'm seriously just so anxious and excited to finally plug in and get involved in our new community and church! Moving right before the holidays made establishing ourselves here a much longer process than we wished and now my goal it to make that happen before our new baby arrives!
Almost every moment I have with my 2 and almost 1 year-olds, I ask myself how in the world this is going to work with three!? But something that I've been learning to understanding lately is this: God never tests our ability to stand on our own or even to show how strong we are. He only tests our ability to run to Him and rely on His power. How amazing is that!!
Saturday, May 12, 2012
A foolish mom at midnight
Yes I know, I should be sleeping. Being up this late and trying to wake up at 6:30 in the morning (see previous post) is not a good combination. But sometimes you risk those things for the sheer pleasure of enjoying a quiet sleeping household. My mother always said silence is golden. Now I understand.
So how are my early mornings going? Well, honestly, some are earlier than others. And sometimes it's only 5 minutes before one or both little people wake up. But other times I have enjoyed a good solid half hour or so of quiet, reading, journaling and prayer! But whether 5 minutes or 30, those moments have been invaluable. Not only because I feel so refreshed, but because some of what I gain in those minutes stays with me all throughout the day. For some reason starting the day out like that makes me think about God and prayer more often during the day...especially during times when I feel like my patience it about to explode.
I also started reading The Power of a Praying Wife by Stormie Omartian. I've been intending to read it for about a year now and I finally got it from the library...wow! Every wife needs to read it! It has been so good. There are 30 short chapters about 30 different areas of a husband's life to pray over, so I try to read one chapter every morning and pray about that throughout the day. The most amazing thing, I think, is that although I'm praying for my husband, I feel myself being changed! What a difference it makes to be more intentional about speaking to God...and trying harder to listen to Him. Today a dear friend gave me the book for my birthday, so I'm so excited to be able to underline and write things in it tomorrow morning!
But before you get any ideas of how perfect and peaceful my life must be, let me tell you, it has been a tough week with the kids. They haven't been exceptionally difficult, just constantly on the edge, you know? It's been Mr. Whiny and Miss Crabby for a lot of the week and there are definitely moments when I am sure I cannot possibly be patient one more second! But in between those moments, there are so many other moments that melt my heart. I'm so thankful God gave each mom the ability to perceive her own kids as the cutest ones on the planet...that definitely helps when they are being difficult!
By the way, does anyone have any suggestions or cures for whining?
Ok, definitely bedtime now.
So how are my early mornings going? Well, honestly, some are earlier than others. And sometimes it's only 5 minutes before one or both little people wake up. But other times I have enjoyed a good solid half hour or so of quiet, reading, journaling and prayer! But whether 5 minutes or 30, those moments have been invaluable. Not only because I feel so refreshed, but because some of what I gain in those minutes stays with me all throughout the day. For some reason starting the day out like that makes me think about God and prayer more often during the day...especially during times when I feel like my patience it about to explode.
I also started reading The Power of a Praying Wife by Stormie Omartian. I've been intending to read it for about a year now and I finally got it from the library...wow! Every wife needs to read it! It has been so good. There are 30 short chapters about 30 different areas of a husband's life to pray over, so I try to read one chapter every morning and pray about that throughout the day. The most amazing thing, I think, is that although I'm praying for my husband, I feel myself being changed! What a difference it makes to be more intentional about speaking to God...and trying harder to listen to Him. Today a dear friend gave me the book for my birthday, so I'm so excited to be able to underline and write things in it tomorrow morning!
But before you get any ideas of how perfect and peaceful my life must be, let me tell you, it has been a tough week with the kids. They haven't been exceptionally difficult, just constantly on the edge, you know? It's been Mr. Whiny and Miss Crabby for a lot of the week and there are definitely moments when I am sure I cannot possibly be patient one more second! But in between those moments, there are so many other moments that melt my heart. I'm so thankful God gave each mom the ability to perceive her own kids as the cutest ones on the planet...that definitely helps when they are being difficult!
By the way, does anyone have any suggestions or cures for whining?
Ok, definitely bedtime now.
Tuesday, April 3, 2012
Did you take something for it?
You can be sure that anytime I say to my husband, "I have a headache", he will ask "Did you take something for it?" Not only is he a guy, bent on "fixing" things, but he is also a nurse. So "Aw, poor Sweetie, come sit down and let me rub your head" isn't the first thing that comes to his mind. This goes into the issue of me expecting him to read my mind...but that's another subject. :) But of course, I know that rubbing my head most likely isn't going to get rid of my headache. It feels good and I'll like the attention, but it doesn't solve the problem.
This scenario has been going through my mind a lot lately because it has helped me remember to take on my husband's attitude when I face those days...you know, the days when nothing goes as planned, the kids won't stop crying, you burn the food, you run out of clean clothes, and the phone wont stop ringing. Or even just days when you wake up exhausted and everything that gets between you and coffee is at risk of extinction.
I've started asking myself, "Did you take something for it?" And what I mean by that is, do I just want to complain or am I going to do something about it? Am I going to dwell on my negative feelings or am I going to "take captive every thought" (2 Corinthians 10:5) and be willing to change?
When I'm in the middle of feeling overwhelmed or crabby, it's hard to think of just snapping out of it and suddenly changing my mood. Truth is, as any mom of young ones would know, I probably just need a full 24-hour nap and then I'd be the most cheerful person on earth! But that's not going to happen, so instead of ruining the day with crabbiness, I've tried to become intentional about "taking something for it" by doing two things:
#1 Change the atmosphere of my home. As a stay-at-home mom, I feel like I'm the guardian of what comes into my home, specially in the way of media. For example, I love listening to fun jazz; nothing wrong with that. But I've noticed quite a difference when I choose to play worship music throughout the day instead. Without even realizing, words of praise to God are flowing through my head...even as I'm falling asleep at night! It truly changes the atmosphere to a little more peace, a little more patience and grace. What kind of noise is coming from your TV, iPod or radio? What messages is it filling your home with?
#2 Change my perspective in certain situations where I have the tendency to become irritated or impatient. So my nearly two-year-old dumped all his toys right after I cleaned them up? Sometimes it may be a disobedience issue...but sometimes, maybe it's time for Mom to pause the to-do list and get on the floor to play for a while. So people dropped-in unexpectedly or I have to be somewhere and haven't had a chance to shower yet? Well, this is what I really, really look like and thank God for a loving husband and for deodorant!
As dorky as this sounds, I've been thinking "Pollyanna-style" a lot. Things are never perfect and often not even close to what we wish, but what is there to be "glad" or thankful about? I'd rather dwell on that and let it put a smile on my face.
"...whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things." Philippians 4:8
This scenario has been going through my mind a lot lately because it has helped me remember to take on my husband's attitude when I face those days...you know, the days when nothing goes as planned, the kids won't stop crying, you burn the food, you run out of clean clothes, and the phone wont stop ringing. Or even just days when you wake up exhausted and everything that gets between you and coffee is at risk of extinction.
I've started asking myself, "Did you take something for it?" And what I mean by that is, do I just want to complain or am I going to do something about it? Am I going to dwell on my negative feelings or am I going to "take captive every thought" (2 Corinthians 10:5) and be willing to change?
When I'm in the middle of feeling overwhelmed or crabby, it's hard to think of just snapping out of it and suddenly changing my mood. Truth is, as any mom of young ones would know, I probably just need a full 24-hour nap and then I'd be the most cheerful person on earth! But that's not going to happen, so instead of ruining the day with crabbiness, I've tried to become intentional about "taking something for it" by doing two things:
#1 Change the atmosphere of my home. As a stay-at-home mom, I feel like I'm the guardian of what comes into my home, specially in the way of media. For example, I love listening to fun jazz; nothing wrong with that. But I've noticed quite a difference when I choose to play worship music throughout the day instead. Without even realizing, words of praise to God are flowing through my head...even as I'm falling asleep at night! It truly changes the atmosphere to a little more peace, a little more patience and grace. What kind of noise is coming from your TV, iPod or radio? What messages is it filling your home with?
#2 Change my perspective in certain situations where I have the tendency to become irritated or impatient. So my nearly two-year-old dumped all his toys right after I cleaned them up? Sometimes it may be a disobedience issue...but sometimes, maybe it's time for Mom to pause the to-do list and get on the floor to play for a while. So people dropped-in unexpectedly or I have to be somewhere and haven't had a chance to shower yet? Well, this is what I really, really look like and thank God for a loving husband and for deodorant!
As dorky as this sounds, I've been thinking "Pollyanna-style" a lot. Things are never perfect and often not even close to what we wish, but what is there to be "glad" or thankful about? I'd rather dwell on that and let it put a smile on my face.
"...whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things." Philippians 4:8
Wednesday, February 22, 2012
Chapters & Souvenirs
This is day five of sitting in a small hospital room with my little girl. She is doing so much better and hopefully we'll be going home tonight. It was so unplanned and unexpected to end up spending this long in the hospital. Some things make you wonder 'what was the point of that God?' and sometimes we will never know. But maybe in my hurry to fall into the routine and rythm of my "new" life with two kids, God knew I needed some quiet time. It's funny how much you forget when you never stop to think and pray a while.
I was just listening to Switchfoot's Souvenirs song (which is one of the things I've forgotten and re-discovered this week...my love for music). It's a song about memories and life happening without you realizing it. It reminds me of a conversation that my husband and I recently had about chapters in life. Throughout the years there are different themes and seasons that make up the different chapters. Funny thing is that we usually don't notice we are in a new chapter until we're right in the middle of it. In fact, we usually don't realize a chapter is closing until after it's closed!
It was Valentine's Day, actually, and we were reminiscing the time before we had kids. We had such freedom and flexibility in our decisions and schedule that we didn't even realize! We have so many wonderful memories. And then our son was born and we fell in love with him. Life would never be complete without him. But somewhere along that new chapter we suddenly realized that the last one was closed. Then we had our daughter, and the flexibility of having only one child suddenly disappeared. Another chapter closed.
You'd think since this happens all the time, we would be ready for the closing and opening of chapters, but somehow we never feel ready. That's why I kind of giggle when couples say they are waiting to have kids until they are ready. When they have their first kid they will realize that no matter how "ready" they felt, they still weren't ready enough. Life just happens and we learn as we go. There is a tinge of bittersweet feelings when you look back at what you had that you don't have anymore. But it's so awesome that every chapter is better than the last. When you walk life with your trust placed steadily in God, every new chapter brings something better and a happy ending is not just a hope, it's a reality.
This extended time to ponder and think has made me remember that there are things in the past that I wasn't supposed to leave behind, and there are things in the future that I need to keep my focus on. But mostly, I want to live fully in the present, remembering that every day is a page turned in this chapter and if I don't enjoy it fully and give it my all, I'll never get it back again. You know, it's the 'stop and smell the roses' type of thing. :)
I was just listening to Switchfoot's Souvenirs song (which is one of the things I've forgotten and re-discovered this week...my love for music). It's a song about memories and life happening without you realizing it. It reminds me of a conversation that my husband and I recently had about chapters in life. Throughout the years there are different themes and seasons that make up the different chapters. Funny thing is that we usually don't notice we are in a new chapter until we're right in the middle of it. In fact, we usually don't realize a chapter is closing until after it's closed!
It was Valentine's Day, actually, and we were reminiscing the time before we had kids. We had such freedom and flexibility in our decisions and schedule that we didn't even realize! We have so many wonderful memories. And then our son was born and we fell in love with him. Life would never be complete without him. But somewhere along that new chapter we suddenly realized that the last one was closed. Then we had our daughter, and the flexibility of having only one child suddenly disappeared. Another chapter closed.
You'd think since this happens all the time, we would be ready for the closing and opening of chapters, but somehow we never feel ready. That's why I kind of giggle when couples say they are waiting to have kids until they are ready. When they have their first kid they will realize that no matter how "ready" they felt, they still weren't ready enough. Life just happens and we learn as we go. There is a tinge of bittersweet feelings when you look back at what you had that you don't have anymore. But it's so awesome that every chapter is better than the last. When you walk life with your trust placed steadily in God, every new chapter brings something better and a happy ending is not just a hope, it's a reality.
This extended time to ponder and think has made me remember that there are things in the past that I wasn't supposed to leave behind, and there are things in the future that I need to keep my focus on. But mostly, I want to live fully in the present, remembering that every day is a page turned in this chapter and if I don't enjoy it fully and give it my all, I'll never get it back again. You know, it's the 'stop and smell the roses' type of thing. :)
Saturday, December 3, 2011
My Top 5 Tips to Saving Money
I promised to write soon about my current journey on learning to be a resourceful, effective and frugal stay-at-home wife and mom. There is so much I want to say, it will take many posts and the very thought of organizing my thoughts and ideas has kept me stalling. So here's a start...
Recently, I had the chance to speak to a group of ladies for a few minutes on what I've learned about saving money in the home. If I narrowed it down to the 5 things that help keep me on track the most when it comes to saving money and trying to steward it well, this is what it would be:
{1} Live like no one else so you can live like no one else. I'm pretty sure this is a Dave Ramsey saying, although probably not word for word. Women are naturally given to comparisons and if you are constantly letting yourself notice what others have and do that you don't, you will always be unsatisfied and unhappy, no matter how much money you have. But if you focus on your personal season in life, as a young family, young marriage, whatever it may be; and decide to be ok with not having certain "normal" luxuries in order that you may save money and be better off in the future, you will be able to be content and move ahead. It requires a change in perspective and priorities, really.
{2} Always keep your goal in sight. Not only in mind, but in sight: on your fridge, your mirror, your car. You will need a strong goal to begin with, for example, to stay at home with your kids so you can be their primary influence and coach them through their growing years. Or to help your husband pay off debt. Or to save up for something specific. Or to set apart money to be able to bless missionaries or a specific ministry. Or to save up for adoption. Or simply to change the atmosphere of your home by being more pro-active in your homemaking. These are all goals that require money, but the answer isn't always to go out and get a job. There is so much you can do at home while not giving up the incredible blessing it is to be at home.
{3} Plan, plan, plan. Yes, I am a planner/organizer addict. But I've been able to convince my husband, who isn't as much of a planner as I am, that planning saves money. The best example is going to the grocery store without a specific list and meal plan in mind. Without a fail, we always end up spending more money that way than if we had planned our grocery list. This applies in everything, though. Look at your last month's budget and spending and you will probably notice that most money "leaks" occurred when things were unplanned: an unplanned meal out in the middle of a long day of errands, an unplanned last minute birthday gift, an unplanned purchase when walking past a great sale. You get the picture. Plan ahead and stick to the plan!
{4} Discover what motivates you. Some people are motivated merely by their goals. They won't rest until they have reached them. Not me. I'm motivated by rewards! Nothing huge. Just little things I use to help myself accomplish tasks. For example, if I get everything done on my to-do list, I can make brownies and watch a movie with my husband at the end of the day. Or if I can save $20 from our grocery budget, I can use $5 of it for whatever I want. Little rewards help me a lot. But for you it may be something else. Discover what that is. If competition motivates you, for example, team up with a girlfriend to see who can reach their goal first. Loser gives winner a free babysitting night, or whatever you can think of!
{5} Don't forget about generosity. When we get all caught up in struggling finances and working hard to reach certain goals, it's easy to forget everything God has to say about it in His Word! The Bible is packed with wisdom on finances and promises of God's never ending faithfulness and provision for His children. Just because you have a goal to reach doesn't mean you should ignore the needs around you. In fact, the more you faithfully learn to be the wife and mom God created you to be, the more you will see His incredible provision in your life, and the more you should be inspired to go above and beyond in caring for and giving to others who need it. Yes, even when it means dipping into your grocery budget or delaying something you've been working hard for. I'm still trying to learn how to work with that very fine line between wise management and joyful generosity. It is very fine indeed! But the minute my feelings start to look like selfishness or fear, I know I'm not doing it right because those things do not blend with gratitude, faith and loving my neighbor.
Oh so much to say and learn. This is one area where I feel I've been on an intense hands-on course, where I see myself growing and struggling and learning so much. I'm so excited to share what I'm trying to learn with other wives and moms because I've seen God moving in our marriage and family through all this and I want every amazing woman out there to experience the same! I keep using the word "learning" because it's a process and I'm just starting out! Many out there know way more than me but I'm just excited to learn and grow and bless my family and those around me.
More on this topic coming soon...
Recently, I had the chance to speak to a group of ladies for a few minutes on what I've learned about saving money in the home. If I narrowed it down to the 5 things that help keep me on track the most when it comes to saving money and trying to steward it well, this is what it would be:
{1} Live like no one else so you can live like no one else. I'm pretty sure this is a Dave Ramsey saying, although probably not word for word. Women are naturally given to comparisons and if you are constantly letting yourself notice what others have and do that you don't, you will always be unsatisfied and unhappy, no matter how much money you have. But if you focus on your personal season in life, as a young family, young marriage, whatever it may be; and decide to be ok with not having certain "normal" luxuries in order that you may save money and be better off in the future, you will be able to be content and move ahead. It requires a change in perspective and priorities, really.
{2} Always keep your goal in sight. Not only in mind, but in sight: on your fridge, your mirror, your car. You will need a strong goal to begin with, for example, to stay at home with your kids so you can be their primary influence and coach them through their growing years. Or to help your husband pay off debt. Or to save up for something specific. Or to set apart money to be able to bless missionaries or a specific ministry. Or to save up for adoption. Or simply to change the atmosphere of your home by being more pro-active in your homemaking. These are all goals that require money, but the answer isn't always to go out and get a job. There is so much you can do at home while not giving up the incredible blessing it is to be at home.
{3} Plan, plan, plan. Yes, I am a planner/organizer addict. But I've been able to convince my husband, who isn't as much of a planner as I am, that planning saves money. The best example is going to the grocery store without a specific list and meal plan in mind. Without a fail, we always end up spending more money that way than if we had planned our grocery list. This applies in everything, though. Look at your last month's budget and spending and you will probably notice that most money "leaks" occurred when things were unplanned: an unplanned meal out in the middle of a long day of errands, an unplanned last minute birthday gift, an unplanned purchase when walking past a great sale. You get the picture. Plan ahead and stick to the plan!
{4} Discover what motivates you. Some people are motivated merely by their goals. They won't rest until they have reached them. Not me. I'm motivated by rewards! Nothing huge. Just little things I use to help myself accomplish tasks. For example, if I get everything done on my to-do list, I can make brownies and watch a movie with my husband at the end of the day. Or if I can save $20 from our grocery budget, I can use $5 of it for whatever I want. Little rewards help me a lot. But for you it may be something else. Discover what that is. If competition motivates you, for example, team up with a girlfriend to see who can reach their goal first. Loser gives winner a free babysitting night, or whatever you can think of!
{5} Don't forget about generosity. When we get all caught up in struggling finances and working hard to reach certain goals, it's easy to forget everything God has to say about it in His Word! The Bible is packed with wisdom on finances and promises of God's never ending faithfulness and provision for His children. Just because you have a goal to reach doesn't mean you should ignore the needs around you. In fact, the more you faithfully learn to be the wife and mom God created you to be, the more you will see His incredible provision in your life, and the more you should be inspired to go above and beyond in caring for and giving to others who need it. Yes, even when it means dipping into your grocery budget or delaying something you've been working hard for. I'm still trying to learn how to work with that very fine line between wise management and joyful generosity. It is very fine indeed! But the minute my feelings start to look like selfishness or fear, I know I'm not doing it right because those things do not blend with gratitude, faith and loving my neighbor.
Oh so much to say and learn. This is one area where I feel I've been on an intense hands-on course, where I see myself growing and struggling and learning so much. I'm so excited to share what I'm trying to learn with other wives and moms because I've seen God moving in our marriage and family through all this and I want every amazing woman out there to experience the same! I keep using the word "learning" because it's a process and I'm just starting out! Many out there know way more than me but I'm just excited to learn and grow and bless my family and those around me.
More on this topic coming soon...
Tuesday, September 27, 2011
With Love From Scratch
This is the name of my new gourmet cafe, where everything is homemade from scratch. Ok, it's not really open to the public, but it exists in my house! And my most faithful client is my husband. :)
I've been married three and a half years now and to say the truth, I don't really remember what I used to make for dinner in that first year of marriage. This is probably because there isn't much to remember! I think I heavily relied on boxed pasta, quesadillas and banana bread...I did know how to make that! Slowly I started experimenting with new recipes out of our desperate need to eat something different and soon I discovered that I loved the kitchen! Still, by their very nature, experiments don't always turn out right and my poor faithful "client" endured many bland, over-cooked, under-cooked meals before I started becoming more confident and capable.
I remember wishing I could get to the point of being known for certain dishes, like my mother and my mother-in-law are. There are certain things they make that people keep coming back for again and again. That's how I wanted to be. But it has taken over three years to feel even close to this goal, especially since my growing love for experimenting in the kitchen often keeps me from repeating and perfecting recipes that turn out well. Slowly but surely though, I have reached a point where at least in my little "cafe", we have some of our own favorites...not just hand-me-down recipes from our mothers (which are awesome), but our very own!
So my project today is to make my official menu. Maybe I went a little too far with naming my cafe and everything, but it helps inspire me and it's fun. My goal is to categorize on a menu, just like in a restaurant, all of the food I feel I can make really well. Why? Because even after so many experiments and successful meals, I still stand in front of my pantry wondering what in the world to make for dinner! Maybe it's my pregnant forgetful brain at the moment, but I still end up relying on boxed pasta and canned sauce, simply because I can't think of anything else! In my opinion, this is due to a lack of planning ahead and establishing a variety of things I feel confident making. Also, the more I make them, the easier and quicker they will be even when I forget to plan ahead.
Eventually I also want to add "prices" to my menu. Don't worry, I will not charge you for being a dinner guest at our house! It will be a way for me to plan my weekly menu based on the cost of each meal, so that I can manage my grocery budget better. Yes, I know I'm a planning fanatic.
So why do you care about all this? If you don't, I'm sorry you read this far. (ha ha) But if you also love cooking, or maybe don't love cooking but are trying to learn to make good food anyway, creating your own menu is a fun inspiring way to give yourself a plan and some variety to choose from. Think of what you would order at your favorite restaurant and dare to find a similar recipe online to try out at home! If it's great, add it to your menu. It's kind of a hobby of mine to make things at home that you would normally only get at a restaurant, and usually they turn out even better! It's not as hard as you think and it makes you wonder why people don't make these things at home more often. Like what? Molten Lava Cakes. Chicken Marsala (just like Olive Garden). Cheddar Biscuits (Red Lobster). New York Cheesecake (Cheesecake Factory)You name it...you can usually find it at www.allrecipes.com Who wouldn't want to eat this stuff at home for a fraction of the cost?
My point? Be bold, make a plan, try new things, have fun. You'll be surprised and you are sure to wow whomever you live with... they will become your most faithful clients. :)
I've been married three and a half years now and to say the truth, I don't really remember what I used to make for dinner in that first year of marriage. This is probably because there isn't much to remember! I think I heavily relied on boxed pasta, quesadillas and banana bread...I did know how to make that! Slowly I started experimenting with new recipes out of our desperate need to eat something different and soon I discovered that I loved the kitchen! Still, by their very nature, experiments don't always turn out right and my poor faithful "client" endured many bland, over-cooked, under-cooked meals before I started becoming more confident and capable.
I remember wishing I could get to the point of being known for certain dishes, like my mother and my mother-in-law are. There are certain things they make that people keep coming back for again and again. That's how I wanted to be. But it has taken over three years to feel even close to this goal, especially since my growing love for experimenting in the kitchen often keeps me from repeating and perfecting recipes that turn out well. Slowly but surely though, I have reached a point where at least in my little "cafe", we have some of our own favorites...not just hand-me-down recipes from our mothers (which are awesome), but our very own!
So my project today is to make my official menu. Maybe I went a little too far with naming my cafe and everything, but it helps inspire me and it's fun. My goal is to categorize on a menu, just like in a restaurant, all of the food I feel I can make really well. Why? Because even after so many experiments and successful meals, I still stand in front of my pantry wondering what in the world to make for dinner! Maybe it's my pregnant forgetful brain at the moment, but I still end up relying on boxed pasta and canned sauce, simply because I can't think of anything else! In my opinion, this is due to a lack of planning ahead and establishing a variety of things I feel confident making. Also, the more I make them, the easier and quicker they will be even when I forget to plan ahead.
Eventually I also want to add "prices" to my menu. Don't worry, I will not charge you for being a dinner guest at our house! It will be a way for me to plan my weekly menu based on the cost of each meal, so that I can manage my grocery budget better. Yes, I know I'm a planning fanatic.
So why do you care about all this? If you don't, I'm sorry you read this far. (ha ha) But if you also love cooking, or maybe don't love cooking but are trying to learn to make good food anyway, creating your own menu is a fun inspiring way to give yourself a plan and some variety to choose from. Think of what you would order at your favorite restaurant and dare to find a similar recipe online to try out at home! If it's great, add it to your menu. It's kind of a hobby of mine to make things at home that you would normally only get at a restaurant, and usually they turn out even better! It's not as hard as you think and it makes you wonder why people don't make these things at home more often. Like what? Molten Lava Cakes. Chicken Marsala (just like Olive Garden). Cheddar Biscuits (Red Lobster). New York Cheesecake (Cheesecake Factory)You name it...you can usually find it at www.allrecipes.com Who wouldn't want to eat this stuff at home for a fraction of the cost?
My point? Be bold, make a plan, try new things, have fun. You'll be surprised and you are sure to wow whomever you live with... they will become your most faithful clients. :)
Saturday, July 30, 2011
That Thing You Do
In marriage there are times when you think you married an angel, and other times when you wonder, "what planet did he come from?" When two people with different personalities and backgrounds decide to live under the same roof for the rest of their lives, it's inevitable. Not everything is going to be perfect. In fact, a lot of things are going to stretch your brain in all kinds of directions as you try to understand why. WHY?!
Why must you leave your shoes in the entrance for me to trip over?
Why do you steal the kitchen towel from its designated spot?
Why do you take weeks to unpack suitcases after a trip?
Why can't you ever remember where you leave things?
I could go on and I'm sure if you are reading this and you are married, your mind has already begun thinking of your list of "whys". A lot of people fight over these things, but my husband and I decided long ago that it's more fun to laugh than fight. We can talk or argue about it till we are sixty three, but unfortunately some habits are really hard to change. Even though we do try to change to better love each other, I have to remember that I didn't marry a perfect person and he didn't either. So we laugh and have fun picking on each other and creating funny memories.
Speaking of which... I have a bit of unpacking to do before someone comes home from work!
Why must you leave your shoes in the entrance for me to trip over?
Why do you steal the kitchen towel from its designated spot?
Why do you take weeks to unpack suitcases after a trip?
Why can't you ever remember where you leave things?
I could go on and I'm sure if you are reading this and you are married, your mind has already begun thinking of your list of "whys". A lot of people fight over these things, but my husband and I decided long ago that it's more fun to laugh than fight. We can talk or argue about it till we are sixty three, but unfortunately some habits are really hard to change. Even though we do try to change to better love each other, I have to remember that I didn't marry a perfect person and he didn't either. So we laugh and have fun picking on each other and creating funny memories.
Speaking of which... I have a bit of unpacking to do before someone comes home from work!
Wednesday, July 20, 2011
The best kind of multi-tasking
I want to encourage all wives and moms to take advantage of Your Family Live webcasts by Focus on the Family! It airs live every wednesday, but you can watch any previous webcast anytime online. Go to www.focusonlinecommunities.com and click on the Your Family Live link on the left-hand column. You will see links on the left to watch webcasts done in the past three years on all kinds of family-related matters!
Why is this the best kind of multi-tasking? Because it's the perfect way to refresh yourself with encouraging messages and even laughter while you do those tedious chores like folding laundry or washing dishes. We all know some days it's hard to get any quiet or devotional time as a mom. This morning I think I was able to read about five verses in the Bible before I had to clean up yet another messy disaster, and all that with Thomas the Train in the background...not the most spiritually inspiring moment. But during nap time, I turned on a webcast that I hadn't seen and attacked my mountain of unfolded laundry while being encouraged on how to be a better wife and how to love my husband the way he needs me to. Now I can go on with my day with challenging, uplifting thoughts in my head!
So put a sticky note somewhere to remind yourself every now and then to watch or listen to something that will actually encourage and bless your spiritually and practically. You'll love it!
Why is this the best kind of multi-tasking? Because it's the perfect way to refresh yourself with encouraging messages and even laughter while you do those tedious chores like folding laundry or washing dishes. We all know some days it's hard to get any quiet or devotional time as a mom. This morning I think I was able to read about five verses in the Bible before I had to clean up yet another messy disaster, and all that with Thomas the Train in the background...not the most spiritually inspiring moment. But during nap time, I turned on a webcast that I hadn't seen and attacked my mountain of unfolded laundry while being encouraged on how to be a better wife and how to love my husband the way he needs me to. Now I can go on with my day with challenging, uplifting thoughts in my head!
So put a sticky note somewhere to remind yourself every now and then to watch or listen to something that will actually encourage and bless your spiritually and practically. You'll love it!
Monday, April 25, 2011
Complete!
As we drove to church on Resurrection Sunday, I thought to myself how glad I was to not be a pastor and have to come up with a fresh new Easter message every year. But then, of course, I re-winded my thoughts and remembered what an awesome God we serve who does indeed have something fresh for us, not just every year, but every day!
One of the fresh thoughts that I encountered this Easter had to do with completion. There are many things in life that make us feel complete....
When I was a child, some cruel dentist once pulled 6 of my teeth in one sitting! I'm sure she had a good reason, but to this day I really dislike going to the dentist. After that awful experience, however, my mother took me straight to the toy store and bought me the biggest, prettiest doll I had ever seen! Suddenly I felt complete!
Then many years later I met "the guy" and endured years of agony (note: slight bit of exaggeration) while God took his time communicating to my parents that this was indeed "the right guy". The day finally came when I walked down the aisle and we said our vows and...I was complete! After only a few months I thought, "I can't even remember what life was like before this!"
A couple years after that, my life became more complete than ever before through the arrival of the sweetest little boy the world has ever seen (note: huge biased opinion). I'm so complete now, that I could never go back. I'm so changed and complete by this little life, that I no longer care about so many things I used to...at least not as much. For example, make-up. I confess that a couple years back I would not dare step foot out of my front door without make-up on my face. Now, there are many days that I'll realize, as we are on our way somewhere, that I haven't even looked in the mirror! And it's perfectly fine because I have a husband and son that adore who I am and love me for me.
Make-up is a pretty trivial thing to bring up in the context of Jesus' death and resurrection, I know. But when Jesus said, "It is finished", that meant his goal, his work, his dream for you and I was completed. His ultimate sacrifice and powerful resurrection provided for us the gift of wholeness of life in Him, the reality of a relationship with Him where nothing is lacking because He has it all and He gave it all for you and I. My desire is for this truth to invade my life in such a way that from make-up to relationships to character, I will be able to walk in the confidence of His completed work for me. There is no room for the lies of insecurity or selfishness when such a love has been given and received!
One of the fresh thoughts that I encountered this Easter had to do with completion. There are many things in life that make us feel complete....
When I was a child, some cruel dentist once pulled 6 of my teeth in one sitting! I'm sure she had a good reason, but to this day I really dislike going to the dentist. After that awful experience, however, my mother took me straight to the toy store and bought me the biggest, prettiest doll I had ever seen! Suddenly I felt complete!
Then many years later I met "the guy" and endured years of agony (note: slight bit of exaggeration) while God took his time communicating to my parents that this was indeed "the right guy". The day finally came when I walked down the aisle and we said our vows and...I was complete! After only a few months I thought, "I can't even remember what life was like before this!"
A couple years after that, my life became more complete than ever before through the arrival of the sweetest little boy the world has ever seen (note: huge biased opinion). I'm so complete now, that I could never go back. I'm so changed and complete by this little life, that I no longer care about so many things I used to...at least not as much. For example, make-up. I confess that a couple years back I would not dare step foot out of my front door without make-up on my face. Now, there are many days that I'll realize, as we are on our way somewhere, that I haven't even looked in the mirror! And it's perfectly fine because I have a husband and son that adore who I am and love me for me.
Make-up is a pretty trivial thing to bring up in the context of Jesus' death and resurrection, I know. But when Jesus said, "It is finished", that meant his goal, his work, his dream for you and I was completed. His ultimate sacrifice and powerful resurrection provided for us the gift of wholeness of life in Him, the reality of a relationship with Him where nothing is lacking because He has it all and He gave it all for you and I. My desire is for this truth to invade my life in such a way that from make-up to relationships to character, I will be able to walk in the confidence of His completed work for me. There is no room for the lies of insecurity or selfishness when such a love has been given and received!
Friday, April 1, 2011
Get the Hint!
Have you ever made a mental note about something, just to realize too late that you lost the note? I do it all the time. My husband will often ask me to do something while I'm cooking or changing a diaper, so I make a mental note about it. A few days later I'll have this uncomfortable feeling of having forgotten something important, but I just can't remember so I shrug it off. But the minute he says, "Honey, did you...", the light will finally come on and suddenly I can't believe I forgot!
I don't just do that to my husband. I'm pretty sure I've done that to a few friends too, but mostly I do that to God! How awful, right? It's quite common, actually. It's been said that prayer is a conversation yet most of us make it a monologue. God has things to say to us and not only through the Bible. Just like we need to listen to people around us with both ears and everything in between, we also need to learn to listen to the ways God speaks to us. I said "the ways" because God is so full of grace and compassion, He knows exactly where you are, how you feel and what you need. The way he speaks to you is unique. When I haven't had enough sleep and it's taking pretty much all my energy and concentration to make a pot of coffee while an equally tired and crabby baby is pulling at my pajama pants, God knows I'm not able to sit down and seek his voice over a deep study of Corinthians. But that doesn't stop Him from speaking! He isn't like us when we sometimes don't speak to someone because they are ignoring us. Thank you Jesus!
So one of the awesome ways God has been speaking to me lately is through what I call hints. When I'm folding laundry and thinking about the next ten things on my list to do that day, all of a sudden something will remind me of my friend so-and-so. I'll think about something funny they said on facebook or something difficult they are going through and then my baby boy will start babbling about something and the thought is gone. Before I know it, the day is over and I'll think back to that random thought earlier and wonder how it even got to my brain.
Well, I've started to realize that perhaps God was hinting at something and perhaps I should respond. Maybe that person needed prayer at that moment. Maybe a call or a text message of encouragement. Maybe that person is feeling like no one cares and they need to know that God put them on my mind. Maybe it would simply deepen my relationship to that person if I just called to say hi.
Maybe it's not all about me and my little world. It's about God and touching people, and He is giving me hints so I can have the opportunity to do just that! If you can relate in any way, join me and get the hint! :)
I don't just do that to my husband. I'm pretty sure I've done that to a few friends too, but mostly I do that to God! How awful, right? It's quite common, actually. It's been said that prayer is a conversation yet most of us make it a monologue. God has things to say to us and not only through the Bible. Just like we need to listen to people around us with both ears and everything in between, we also need to learn to listen to the ways God speaks to us. I said "the ways" because God is so full of grace and compassion, He knows exactly where you are, how you feel and what you need. The way he speaks to you is unique. When I haven't had enough sleep and it's taking pretty much all my energy and concentration to make a pot of coffee while an equally tired and crabby baby is pulling at my pajama pants, God knows I'm not able to sit down and seek his voice over a deep study of Corinthians. But that doesn't stop Him from speaking! He isn't like us when we sometimes don't speak to someone because they are ignoring us. Thank you Jesus!
So one of the awesome ways God has been speaking to me lately is through what I call hints. When I'm folding laundry and thinking about the next ten things on my list to do that day, all of a sudden something will remind me of my friend so-and-so. I'll think about something funny they said on facebook or something difficult they are going through and then my baby boy will start babbling about something and the thought is gone. Before I know it, the day is over and I'll think back to that random thought earlier and wonder how it even got to my brain.
Well, I've started to realize that perhaps God was hinting at something and perhaps I should respond. Maybe that person needed prayer at that moment. Maybe a call or a text message of encouragement. Maybe that person is feeling like no one cares and they need to know that God put them on my mind. Maybe it would simply deepen my relationship to that person if I just called to say hi.
Maybe it's not all about me and my little world. It's about God and touching people, and He is giving me hints so I can have the opportunity to do just that! If you can relate in any way, join me and get the hint! :)
Monday, February 14, 2011
25 Dates Under $10
Remember those days before Mr. & Mrs.? After you said "I do", you lived happily ever after...until you realized that you get up in the morning, go to work, clean the house, pay the bills, fix the car, say goodnight and do it all over again. It truly is wonderful because you are together and the details of daily life lived side-by-side make your life complete. Still, the importance of specially planned times (dates) together often gets forgotten in the middle of the budget and schedules and kids. We seem to think we can't afford it and we don't have time to plan all the details like we used to. The truth is, you don't always need bouquets of flowers, love letters, fancy restaurants and special surprises. Of course they are nice, but generally you just need fun times together. So my husband and I have come up with this list of simple, but fun and inexpensive, things we like to do together. Once in a while we will save up and splurge on a nice restaurant or weekend getaway. But mostly, we realize it's about being together, not about how much it costs. You may not find all of these fun, so go make your own list!
1. Share a drink at your favorite coffee shop. (Remember you used to think sharing was romantic!)
2. Spend the morning strolling through your local farmer's market.
3. Find a new outdoor place to walk or hike.
4. Have a library date: learn about something new together, pick up some free old movies, find your favorite childhood books...
5. Cook a "gourmet" meal together with whatever you can find in your fridge and pantry. Don't forget candles on the table!
6. Go shopping for fun little things to put into a "care package" for someone you know.
7. Treat yourselves to some ice-cream cones and take a stroll through town.
8. Museum day: Find out if your city's museums have any free days or times. (Ours are free after 4pm on Tuesdays!)
9. Shop at Plato's Closet for a fun piece of clothing for each...this can definitely be done for under $10 at this awesome place!
10. Create your own home-made pizza and get a dollar movie...or watch free shows at Hulu.com.
11. Find a used book store and hunt for a good bargain. (We have found some of our favorite books this way!)
12. Picnic! Even if it's just the backyard...it's fun to eat outside.
13. On a rainy, cozy day, pick a book you want to read together and take turns reading outloud.
14. Have a game and snacks night...checkers, chess, cards, whatever...
15. Find the nearest public tennis courts and sharpen your tennis skills. If you're no good at it, like me, at least you get some good laughs in!
16. Re-visit some of the places you had your first dates...or re-create them as closely as you can.
17. Star-gazing at midnight.
18. Skip rocks and dip your feet at a lake.
19. Have a timed Sudoku contest. Winner gets a foot rub.
20. Share a giant chocolate cupcake at Barnes & Noble and look at picture books of places you hope to visit someday.
21. Go play darts or mini-golf.
22. Drink an old-fashioned malt with two straws.
23. Candlelight dinner and dance in the kitchen.
24. Make your own smoothies and look at old pictures.
25. Watch the sunrise or sunset while reminiscing about your first year of marriage and sharing your dreams for the future.
If you have any other ideas, do share!
1. Share a drink at your favorite coffee shop. (Remember you used to think sharing was romantic!)
2. Spend the morning strolling through your local farmer's market.
3. Find a new outdoor place to walk or hike.
4. Have a library date: learn about something new together, pick up some free old movies, find your favorite childhood books...
5. Cook a "gourmet" meal together with whatever you can find in your fridge and pantry. Don't forget candles on the table!
6. Go shopping for fun little things to put into a "care package" for someone you know.
7. Treat yourselves to some ice-cream cones and take a stroll through town.
8. Museum day: Find out if your city's museums have any free days or times. (Ours are free after 4pm on Tuesdays!)
9. Shop at Plato's Closet for a fun piece of clothing for each...this can definitely be done for under $10 at this awesome place!
10. Create your own home-made pizza and get a dollar movie...or watch free shows at Hulu.com.
11. Find a used book store and hunt for a good bargain. (We have found some of our favorite books this way!)
12. Picnic! Even if it's just the backyard...it's fun to eat outside.
13. On a rainy, cozy day, pick a book you want to read together and take turns reading outloud.
14. Have a game and snacks night...checkers, chess, cards, whatever...
15. Find the nearest public tennis courts and sharpen your tennis skills. If you're no good at it, like me, at least you get some good laughs in!
16. Re-visit some of the places you had your first dates...or re-create them as closely as you can.
17. Star-gazing at midnight.
18. Skip rocks and dip your feet at a lake.
19. Have a timed Sudoku contest. Winner gets a foot rub.
20. Share a giant chocolate cupcake at Barnes & Noble and look at picture books of places you hope to visit someday.
21. Go play darts or mini-golf.
22. Drink an old-fashioned malt with two straws.
23. Candlelight dinner and dance in the kitchen.
24. Make your own smoothies and look at old pictures.
25. Watch the sunrise or sunset while reminiscing about your first year of marriage and sharing your dreams for the future.
If you have any other ideas, do share!
Sunday, January 30, 2011
So after 21 days...
...here is the honest truth of what I learned (in reference to 21 Days in 2011). Have I mentioned before that I have a tendency towards perfectionism? Well, setting super-high goals goes hand-in-hand with that ...so these are the results of my lofty intentions:
1. Gone are the days of spending unlimited, uninterrupted time studying the Bible...or anything else, for that matter! A few minutes here and there are all you get with an increasingly curious (and lately also sick) little crawler.
2. A sleep-deprived momma with nothing but fruits, vegetable and a few peanuts in her stomach is a crabby momma! Oh, it sounded so deep and adventurous, but the reality is that twenty one days without sugar, coffee or any type of comfort food is a loooong time!
3. A crabby momma has a crabby and often self-centered heart! In my quest to learn more about God's view of the heart, I saw first-hand the ugly view of mine and how desperately in need of God's grace it is. (Whoever started that "follow your heart" stuff is really, really wrong.)
That was a good description of the first week. Every entry I made in my journal during that time starts out thanking God for being so thoughtful to provide new mercies every morning, because I had definitely used them up the previous day! But as I trudged on, praying for God to change me, He did. I began to wonder where all the deep spiritual significance of this whole ordeal was, but I started to recognize that I had made up my mind what God would do. I forgot He has his own plans. Apparently the big, obvious part of his plan for my 21 days was a smoothing out of the sharp edges in my character. That first week, my sweet husband kept looking at me with big eyes and eyebrows raised as if to say "Are you sure this is a good idea?" But each day got a little better and by God's many mercies and grace, I think I've at least started to learn the habit of yielding my heart, attitudes and character to the Lord and not letting them rule me. Sounds pretty basic I guess, but some things need to be re-learned in the different stages of life we face.
Oh, and I discovered how much I love bananas.
1. Gone are the days of spending unlimited, uninterrupted time studying the Bible...or anything else, for that matter! A few minutes here and there are all you get with an increasingly curious (and lately also sick) little crawler.
2. A sleep-deprived momma with nothing but fruits, vegetable and a few peanuts in her stomach is a crabby momma! Oh, it sounded so deep and adventurous, but the reality is that twenty one days without sugar, coffee or any type of comfort food is a loooong time!
3. A crabby momma has a crabby and often self-centered heart! In my quest to learn more about God's view of the heart, I saw first-hand the ugly view of mine and how desperately in need of God's grace it is. (Whoever started that "follow your heart" stuff is really, really wrong.)
That was a good description of the first week. Every entry I made in my journal during that time starts out thanking God for being so thoughtful to provide new mercies every morning, because I had definitely used them up the previous day! But as I trudged on, praying for God to change me, He did. I began to wonder where all the deep spiritual significance of this whole ordeal was, but I started to recognize that I had made up my mind what God would do. I forgot He has his own plans. Apparently the big, obvious part of his plan for my 21 days was a smoothing out of the sharp edges in my character. That first week, my sweet husband kept looking at me with big eyes and eyebrows raised as if to say "Are you sure this is a good idea?" But each day got a little better and by God's many mercies and grace, I think I've at least started to learn the habit of yielding my heart, attitudes and character to the Lord and not letting them rule me. Sounds pretty basic I guess, but some things need to be re-learned in the different stages of life we face.
Oh, and I discovered how much I love bananas.
Sunday, January 16, 2011
Thank Heaven for Patient Husbands!
Women's brains are like spaghetti and men's brains are like waffles. You've probably heard that before. Another similar example that a great marriage conference speaker (Mark Gungor) uses is that in men's brains, everything is categorized into neat boxes that don't touch. In women's brains, there is a great ball of wires and all the wires are connected to each other.
The other day I told my husband I was trying to separate my wires into different boxes and failing miserably! In reference to Mark Gungor, again, he says that of all the boxes in men's brains there is one favorite...the "nothing" box. There is nothing in there and men love to go to that box. This is in no way derogatory towards men, for to quote a good girlfriend of mine, "I wish I could think of nothing for one day." Yes. We crazy emotional feminine creatures do in fact wish at times that all of our thoughts weren't connected to each other and that they would please quit spinning around our head like a clothes dryer!
It is true that most of the time it is women who buy the marriage books, drag their husbands to the marriage conferences and continually need to analyze their marriage relationship. In part, that is because we are very relational and ...our emotion wire is very much intertwined with our relationship wire, which is twisted together with our mood wire, and so forth. But also, in my opinion, because we are the ones with the crazy roller coaster hormonal emotions! Our husbands may be cool as a cucumber drinking a lemonade on a sunny summer day while we are bouncing off the walls with emotions and mood swings and drama and "do you love me?" and "am I pretty?".
My husband and I have learned to turn our differences in character and personality into things we can laugh about and have fun with. But even as I poke fun at us "crazy" women, I believe God made us in a very delicate and deep sort of way for a great purpose...much greater than we can imagine! Oftentimes though, there's a whole lot of character building that He needs to do in us, meanwhile those closest to us get to experience the process of our growing and stretching which is not always fun.
The point of this whole thing is really to simply make the statement that GOD BLESSED ME WITH AN INCREDIBLY SWEET & PATIENT HUSBAND!
The other day I told my husband I was trying to separate my wires into different boxes and failing miserably! In reference to Mark Gungor, again, he says that of all the boxes in men's brains there is one favorite...the "nothing" box. There is nothing in there and men love to go to that box. This is in no way derogatory towards men, for to quote a good girlfriend of mine, "I wish I could think of nothing for one day." Yes. We crazy emotional feminine creatures do in fact wish at times that all of our thoughts weren't connected to each other and that they would please quit spinning around our head like a clothes dryer!
It is true that most of the time it is women who buy the marriage books, drag their husbands to the marriage conferences and continually need to analyze their marriage relationship. In part, that is because we are very relational and ...our emotion wire is very much intertwined with our relationship wire, which is twisted together with our mood wire, and so forth. But also, in my opinion, because we are the ones with the crazy roller coaster hormonal emotions! Our husbands may be cool as a cucumber drinking a lemonade on a sunny summer day while we are bouncing off the walls with emotions and mood swings and drama and "do you love me?" and "am I pretty?".
My husband and I have learned to turn our differences in character and personality into things we can laugh about and have fun with. But even as I poke fun at us "crazy" women, I believe God made us in a very delicate and deep sort of way for a great purpose...much greater than we can imagine! Oftentimes though, there's a whole lot of character building that He needs to do in us, meanwhile those closest to us get to experience the process of our growing and stretching which is not always fun.
The point of this whole thing is really to simply make the statement that GOD BLESSED ME WITH AN INCREDIBLY SWEET & PATIENT HUSBAND!
Thursday, November 25, 2010
Thoughts of Pumpkin Pie & Love
It's nearing the end of this Thanksgiving Day, the house is dark and quiet and everyone else is asleep. The weather is finally cold in this Texas state, as it should be in November. The turkey turned out well, despite my lack of experience in turkey-baking. I admit though, that I could gladly have Thanksgiving without turkey. What I really love is everything else and especially, pumpkin pie. If no one stopped me and I had no conscience, I may eat a whole one by myself in one sitting. It's the truth. One of my happy thoughts as I drift to sleep tonight will be the knowledge of a whole left-over pumpkin pie in the fridge waiting for me to wake up tomorrow morning! :) Black Friday sales? Forget it. Just give me pumpkin pie for breakfast!
But my happiest thoughts as I drift off to sleep tonight are about how deeply thankful I am to the Lord for the amazing husband I have. I really can't describe how incredible he is and how blessed I am! It is the greatest joy in my life and the greatest honor to walk this life next to him, to serve the Lord together and to parent our perfect, adorable, little boy.
I am one happy, full, thankful woman.
But my happiest thoughts as I drift off to sleep tonight are about how deeply thankful I am to the Lord for the amazing husband I have. I really can't describe how incredible he is and how blessed I am! It is the greatest joy in my life and the greatest honor to walk this life next to him, to serve the Lord together and to parent our perfect, adorable, little boy.
I am one happy, full, thankful woman.
Tuesday, November 23, 2010
Peace Like a River
As women, there are days that seem to be going just fine and all of a sudden something bumps into our perspective and shuffles everything around leaving us crabby or insecure or emotional...how easily that happens and how hard it is to turn it around sometimes. It's even harder to really pinpoint what's the matter, specially when the poor bewildered husband tries to help. I've discovered that usually I try to spoil myself when I'm in these "moods" with stuff like brownies, ice cream and coffee. That makes everything better, right? Only temporarily.
Recently, my little son has helped me learn something in a rather funny way. It doesn't matter what mood he is in, he will always laugh when I sing the old song "I've Got Peace Like a River". Always. Even when he is crying, he will stop crying and start fighting a huge grin that forces its way across his face. I'm not sure why he does that, after all, my singing can't be that bad! But he reminds me to allow peace in my heart. It's not something that just happens; it's something I need to allow.
"Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts..." Colossians 3:15
Recently, my little son has helped me learn something in a rather funny way. It doesn't matter what mood he is in, he will always laugh when I sing the old song "I've Got Peace Like a River". Always. Even when he is crying, he will stop crying and start fighting a huge grin that forces its way across his face. I'm not sure why he does that, after all, my singing can't be that bad! But he reminds me to allow peace in my heart. It's not something that just happens; it's something I need to allow.
"Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts..." Colossians 3:15
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