Keys & Corners

Last week I had a theme-day; a day when the same theme was woven through everything I heard. By the end of the day I had to wonder and try to decipher what it all meant. It went something like this...

I overheard two friends talking about God stirring up women to be like "keys" to unlock a movement of freedom in the way we act, think and live; to have vision beyond the limits we set ourselves in; to realize our potential and power to influence our homes, communities and world. It's likely I have misquoted them and added a few of my thoughts, but it was something along those lines.

My Interrupted Life

Funny thing--I've been wanting to write all summer about what life is like being constantly interrupted by little ones and what that does to my brain. You'd think I'd be used to it by now, but if you walked through my house in the middle of the day, there's always a trail of unfinished things because every 2.5 minutes some little person needs something that usually requires me to go to a different room in the house. Obviously by the time I'm back, I've forgotten what I was doing before. And not being gifted with the multi-tasking talents most females have, by the end of the day my brain is mush. Which is why I have not taken the time to write about this all summer, since the only uninterrupted time I have is when the little angels are sleeping, which again, is mush-brain time. My poor husband. :) So how am I writing this now? Mostly one-handed, with a squirrelly one-year-old in lap, next to a two-year-old who insists the toy parrot needs to pee, and across from a singing four-year-old with a heaven-sent obsession with trains that keeps him easily occupied.

Earlybird Martha

"Awaken the dawn"

It seems that Martha and Mary (from the Bible) have made themselves a comfy little spot in my life lately. Everywhere I go I hear about them and even when I sit down and open my Bible, somehow I end up at their stories over and over. I didn't used to care much for them, mainly because I found Mary annoying. Just being honest. Obviously, I'm more of a Martha and she seems to have a bad reputation. Recently, however, I've discovered what a misconception of mine that has been! Who is the one who opened up her home to Jesus in the first place? (Luke 10:38) Who is the one who went to the edge of town to meet Jesus as he was coming to raise Lazarus? ...And made a confession of faith uncommon to many people in Jesus' life? (John 11:20, 27) Who served Jesus at a dinner given in His honor? (John 12:2)

12 Old-fashioned Winter Activities for Toddlers

It is February in Minnesota, the month when all moms of toddlers start going CRAZY because the kids are STIR-CRAZY!! In the Fall, I thought to myself, "Hmm, it would be such a smart idea to make a winter activity list for those long winter days when the kids are bored." Well, it's no longer a smart idea, it's a survival necessity! :)

Feed Yourself!

One of the main things any mama is told while pregnant and after giving birth is to eat well. Your baby's health depends so much on your own health. Have you ever thought of that beyond food though?

Just like it can be so hard to chose the salad over the donut, it is equally hard to chose "higher quality" things to feed your mind, heart and spirit with! We all know the best decisions are not made when we are tired and the fact is, we mamas are almost always tired.

You Can't Do It

How's that for encouraging? This seems to be the message I keep getting lately in every area of life: you can't do it. It's actually an encouraging message! You see, I'm not capable, talented or wise enough. I'm not sufficiently loving, caring or compassionate...and heaven knows I'm not patient enough. I came to the great realization that NOBODY is born naturally patient. We've all said things like "I just don't have patience for that." Well, no one does. "I'm so patient" said no one ever! :)

There are situations and seasons of life that are just plain hard. Surely you can point to several in your past or your present. I thought it was just me for a while, but every time people see us with our three kids ages 3 and under, they give us that look that says "that's tough". And they don't mean it in a bad way. It is tough. Specially if they themselves have graduated from the baby/toddler stage of parenting, they know. It has helped me feel validated that I'm not just bad at this...this really is hard and it's ok to struggle. Parenting is one of the hardest things we have ever done and we are only three years into it!

Then there's marriage... no wonder they say most divorces happen when the kids are toddlers or after they've graduated from school! Take two sleep-deprived, exhausted-in-every-way people and surround them with cute darlings who cry a lot, stink often and who cause them to self-sacrifice in more ways than they ever imagined... let's just say, it's not a very romantic picture!

And yet, I can honestly say that I LOVE my life with all my heart. I am in love with my sweet husband more than ever, and I melt with love over my beautiful babies every single day. The reason is that I'm learning more and more that I can't do this at all. But nothing is impossible with God! I'm never enough, but He always is. I don't have what it takes, but He has that and more! If I had any bit of capability for managing on my own, I wouldn't need God in my life. But I do need Him and that is why even some of the toughest times can be the most beautiful. I've learned that even asking Him to take hardships away isn't always the best answer because it is through these things that He makes every day more beautiful than the last.

It's still hard. It's more work than I ever imagined. I still cry. I often feel frazzled. And then I remember I can't do it because I'm not supposed to do it alone. If God is for us, who can be against us?

A Week In Thoughts

So many things I want to write about. So little time. I keep dreaming of sitting at a coffee shop and pouring all my inspiration into writing, but I've realized I can keep dreaming or I can force myself to summarize. So here's the summary of the little things I'm learning lately, which by the way, I mostly write for my own benefit. Putting it into words helps me remember the lesson better.

Super Mom days may be followed by Super Hard days. Why? I don't know. But it's still ok to call your mom and cry.

Positive Words: Never thought I was a wife who needed to hear "I Love You" constantly. But without being asked, that's what my husband has been telling me over and over this week and it has strengthened me more than I can explain. Words are powerful. "Be careful what you say", they say. But also be intentionally positive with what you say, I say.

Embrace the Giggles. Sometimes it's bedtime and all you want is for the kid to get in bed and fall asleep ASAP. But then he gets the giggles. It's more fun to join in than to try to stop him sometimes.

The Sound of Music: life and chores are always better with music. And random dancing and twirling with the little peeps.

Make a short list. I love lists and I can really get carried away with them. But this week I made a list with three things on it just so I could actually cross them all off at the end of the day and feel accomplished.

Just do it. Sometimes you gotta forget the list and just do whatever's in front of you.

If there's any bit of humor in the situation, laugh.

That's it I think. Happy weekend!

Stop and Smell the...Moment

I'm sure every woman that has dreamed about being a mom has had certain ideas or pictures in her mind of what that would look like. Then it happens and you soon realize there are also many things you never pictured happening to you...like a diaper explosion in your lap... while flying in a crowded airplane! Or food in your hair. Or many other more gross things I won't mention.

Then there are those moments when you have to stop and realize, "this is what I dreamed it would be like" and enjoy that moment for all its worth!

A few of those for me recently have been watching my son running between the sprinklers for the first time in his life, laughing with delight...

 

He also helped me make a cake the other day and he actually listened and did his best to follow instructions!

 

I caught these two sitting in the same chair watching Little House on the Prairie.

 

Sibling love!

 As I've made sure to stop and enjoy these moments, I've been feeling more grateful and awed than usual at how much God has blessed us!

Mom: The Chocolate Chip Raider

I never was much of a just chocolate person. Chocolate baked goods are a serious addiction, but just plain chocolate was never my thing. Until now. Something happened since I've had my third child. My days are eternally long and my brain is constantly exhausted from being interrupted and trying to remember what I was doing before. So in order to give myself little mini rewards to be able to keep going to the next task, or disaster, or whatever...I've become a raider of the chocolate chip bag. No worries, it's dark chocolate, dairy and soy-free. :) Happy mothering to any other pantry raiders out there! That's it. No deep lesson here, except trying to find the humor in my sometimes catastrophic situations. :)

Enough for Everyone

It's been six weeks since we became parents of three under three! Six weeks seems like a very long time right now. It has been a much bigger adjustment than we imagined. Of course, it didn't help that we also moved two weeks after giving birth! I love the kids, love the house, love that it's finally summer, I even love that it's been a rainy summer because for the most part, my world has been minimized to the inside of my house. I really have no energy or brain for much else outside my four walls! And it's taken me a while to realize that it's ok. It's a season. I do get out...to church, the grocery store and my moms small group. The basics. That's it. :) But I'm learning to enjoy this time. These kiddos will only be this age once and these years are crucial to them. But the trick is giving them the mom they deserve when I'm sleep-deprived, exhausted and tired... oh, wait, those are all the same thing?

Patience and grace don't come easy these days; much less a cheerful, smiley, singing mom! I want them to remember a happy mom, not a crabby, yelling, impatient one. It's not rocket science, but it's way harder than you think. Being a parent to multiple kids in the baby-toddler stage is like an intense crash course in selfless patience and integrity. Just because I'm so exhausted and they are so needy doesn't mean they shouldn't get smiles and hugs. And they can see right through me sometimes. Am I teaching them the right ways to react to stress and hard work? When they make mistakes, do they experience grace?

There are so many huge life lessons being established here, besides the regular survival things to think about (like meals and diapers), it can be truly overwhelming! There are always several moments throughout the day when I feel like I'm just not enough, like there just isn't enough of me to meet all these needs at the same time!

Recently, though, I was reminded of so many promises to hang onto during this time: God's grace is enough! And in my weakness, He is strong! His mercies are new every morning and His love never fails! Many, many more... I shall be writing them on my new chalkboard wall so I can remember. I'm not enough for anyone, but Jesus is. That's what I want my kids to know.

Work Hard to Relax More: 7 Steps for Young Moms

"I feel like I need a life change" I told my wide-eyed husband recently. That probably wasn't the answer he was expecting to his usual "What are you thinking about?" question. Nevertheless, I felt like I needed to re-gain perspective and control in some areas. There were too many things that I had started to excuse as "normal" for a young mom; too many things I was just letting go and losing control of. Like what?

Mountains of laundry and dishes. Always being late. Stressing about "what's for dinner" every day and not planning ahead. Mess. Dust. Dirty bathrooms. Trash cans overflowing. My ragged appearance. Lots of guilt. And if guests were coming over...everyone get out of the way of this stressed crazy mom as she frantically tries to make it look like it's all under control! And don't anyone dare show up unexpected!!

Well, I do have two toddlers, I'm pregnant and we have a difficult schedule because of my husband's work. Many reasons to excuse myself. Plus, all moms feel like this. This is normal... right??? So we convince ourselves to take it easy, slack of on a lot of things, bake a frozen pizza for dinner...again. Certainly there's a place for "easy days". We all come to a point where we need a break sometimes. But have you noticed that if you do that for a length of time, it doesn't make you less stressed because in the end you have way more work than before?

I decided I didn't want this to be my "normal". I don't know what goes on in other people's homes, but in mine, this wasn't working. I didn't want to be a stressed, crabby wife and mom all the time, so something had to change.

I decided to email my wise mom to ask her for some "loving but truthful" advice. She shared several ideas with me that I'm going to paraphrase here because although she seemed to think she was being too forward, I found them challenging and helpful:

1. No pain, no gain. It can be very easy to baby ourselves and convince ourselves of everything we deserve. If we are serious about letting God transform us into who He made us to be, it's not usually going to be very comfortable, but always worth it in the end. Basically, if you want to have truly relaxing times to enjoy with your family, you first have to spend some time working to get things done.

2. Divorce yourself from Facebook! Be willing to recognize how much time you waste on this or any other media and don't allow it to rob your time. It usually isn't necessary to check for updates, or even post updates, every couple hours. Keep it for when everything else is done and you'll see how much more you will accomplish!

3. Pajamas are for sleeping. Unless you're sick or it's a very rare occasion, there really is no need to stay in pj's all day and therefore be unprepared for guests or look unattractive for your husband. Besides, there's something about getting yourself dressed and ready in the morning that gives you a little more energy for the rest of the day.

4. Eat well. Make sure you are preparing healthy meals for yourself and your family. When it's just you and the kids, it's tempting to just snack all day, especially unhealthy snacks and sweets. Take time to prepare healthy, energizing meals and snacks instead.

5. Communicate with your spouse. Everyone knows this is crucial in marriage. With our typically opposite personalities and tendencies, we need to figure out a way to balance each other out. (In our case, I love a set plan and he loves spontaneity.) As a stay-at-home mom, the home is your workplace and certain things have to be done or else there will be chaos and stress. In order for you to be more flexible and relaxed about things, you need to make sure those not-optional things are done.

And I'm going to add two more of my own...

6. Plan ahead! Of course, I love planning and making lists. But even if you don't, it's necessary if you want to avoid last-minute stress of any kind! Plan meals, chores, budget, activities for when the kids get fussy, etc. I took a couple days to think and make a plan that works for myself to keep up with everything and it has truly helped! I hope to share that more in detail in another post. You know what works for you, so plan it and make it happen.

7. Get up earlier. What mom doesn't just HATE that I said that!? :) I do too, but it has helped me tremendously. I am not at all a morning person, but I've discovered that if I can get up even just half an hour before the kids, get myself a cup of coffee (I pre-set my coffee maker the night before so it's hot and ready to pour when I get up!) and sit down and read my Bible for a while, my attitude and my whole day are so much better! It's made enough of a difference to make me actually look forward to that quiet peaceful sunrise time. When my husband is home, he joins me and we both love it now!

I've been implementing these things for a few weeks now and I have seen great results. I have much to learn and improve still (...who doesn't?) but I am very excited about this because I was starting to think achieving any kind of routine in this busy stage of life was hopeless. Every now and then there are those messy or out-and-about-all-day-long days when not much gets accomplished. But most days, I feel more in control of my home and surroundings instead of the other way around, which allows me to have moments like this evening, sitting in a clean house with sleeping babes, a cup of hot cocoa and some free time to blog. In a mom's life, that's priceless! :)

Good thing they're so cute!

Ahh, parenthood... is there anything harder?

Maybe there is, but right now this is the hardest thing I'm doing. You, like me, may be a blog reader that follows many other moms who share their photos, recipes, projects, funny stories. So many times everyone else looks so pretty and put together. They have their menus planned and their homes look amazing. And to top it off, they have perfect hair! :)

Well, I'm here to remind us all what we all know: it's not true. We ALL have those days; those times when you plummet from feeling like Super Mom to feeling like crying and having your own mommy come to your rescue! Some nights (like last night) you've been woken up more times than you can even remember. And if the next morning is Monday (like today), everyone better watch out!

So days like this happen. I try to let it cause me to pray a lot and I try to give myself grace. (Ice-cream for lunch? Why not.) Being a little easier on myself helps me remember that these little people around me also need grace from me, and thank goodness they are so cute because even on such days, they can bring so many moments that warm a mom's heart. These Mondays will come and go from time to time. We all have them. It's ok. :)

Definitely a Season of "New"

It has been way too long, again, since I've written anything for many reasons:

1. Re-locating to a new area right before the holidays hit = crazy and forever long to get back into routine.

2. Holidays. Who has time for anything around that time? As fun as they can be, I'm one of those who is always glad when it's over.

3. Right in the middle of December, as we were working hard towards routine, I got my healthy meal plans going, we joined the YMCA and started working out, we were feeling good about ourselves... but my post-baby belly was not going away. In fact, I tried to blame my imagination, but I could swear it was getting bigger! And then...surprise!! My husband and I were on our way to being outnumbered by the little people in our home!

4. ...on our way to being outnumbered, not in 9 months, but in just under 5! I've heard all the questions that go through people's heads about this and I can give you many reasons (all of the above and more), but it's just one of those situations where I didn't know I was pregnant until I was 19 weeks and no, I'm not making it up.

5. Vacation! Put all of the above together and you can imagine how excited we were for family vacation with my folks! It was a wonderful time ...but unfortunately, we all got very sick, mostly me and baby girl (not the one in the belly, whose gender I don't know) and...

6. ...we both had terrible colds, coughs and fevers that lasted a couple weeks into January. My cough was bad enough that I tore a muscle in my side! That still hurts now, but thankfully I've been almost cough-free for 24 hours now!

So, all in all, it's been quite a holiday/new year season. Many adventures, many surprises. And I'm still trying to find my routine. I'm not giving it up for lost yet. I know it's around here somewhere! :) I'm seriously just so anxious and excited to finally plug in and get involved in our new community and church! Moving right before the holidays made establishing ourselves here a much longer process than we wished and now my goal it to make that happen before our new baby arrives!

Almost every moment I have with my 2 and almost 1 year-olds, I ask myself how in the world this is going to work with three!? But something that I've been learning to understanding lately is this: God never tests our ability to stand on our own or even to show how strong we are. He only tests our ability to run to Him and rely on His power. How amazing is that!!

Potty Training: You Can Do This!

To anyone who wants to start this process and would like to know how others did it, this is our detailed story and I apologize, there is no way to make it short! :)

Potty chair and "Pee Bear"

The method I used is from an old book that claims you can potty train in one day! Many friends, including my mom, recommended it, but I was warned that it could take up to 5 days. I won't go into all the details in the book because you can google it and read it yourself. But I'll try to give you a summary of their method and then the details of how we did it.

What you will need:
~Potty Chair with an easy-to-remove pot (the kind that just sits on top, not the kind you have to pull out from behind)
~A variety of snacks (especially salty) and drinks
~Other rewards your child might like (we used stickers)
~A doll that pees (I didn't want to buy one, so I got creative and used a stuffed bear...more on that later)
~8-10 pairs of loose-fitting underwear (at least!)
~Cleaning rags and soapy water to clean up accidents
~Paper and pen to track times and progress
~Lots of patience and maybe treats for yourself as well!

Treats and Drinks

What the point is:
The goal is to get your toddler to completely toilet himself, a process which includes pulling down his pants, sitting on the potty and doing his business, standing up and pulling his pants back on, taking the pot to the toilet and dumping it, flushing the toilet (while still holding the pot in one hand), and putting the pot back on the potty chair. Sounds like too much? Let me tell you that for us, this was the easy part!

The difficult part is getting him to recognize when he has to go and getting himself to the potty on time. The idea is that you dedicate a few complete days to this training, letting nothing else, not even phone calls, interfere. It's better to do this in the summertime so that you can let your toddler run around in only underwear, since dealing with other clothes while learning to pull his pants down and up is difficult.

Sticker Rewards marking all the times he successfully went potty!

What to do:
You start out with several practice runs with the doll, describing everything out loud and getting to the point where the child "teaches" the doll by helping it do all the steps. You "give" the doll a drink, take it to the potty chair, pull down its underwear, make it sit and make sure your child is watching when it pees. You praise the doll for peeing in the potty and give it a treat, which you let your child have, while explaining that he will get a treat when he goes to the potty too. Then you teach him how to take the pot out of the potty chair, walk to the toilet, dump, flush and replace the pot. Guide him carefully through a couple runs, but gradually let him start doing it himself. You will be surprised how quickly they pick up on the whole routine. It is best, if possible, to place the potty chair in a spot that is an easy walk from the toilet, but not too far from the kitchen where you can have easy access to drinks and snacks.

Between potty runs, you constantly ask the question (to the doll in this case) "Are your pants dry?" and after guiding your child's hand to feel what "dry" feels like, the doll (and child) gets a small treat. At one point, you wet the doll's pants with water when your child isn't looking and ask the same question. When your child feels that they are wet, make a big deal about how disappointing this is. Then you quickly take the doll to the potty, pull down pants, sit her down, say "Pee-pee in potty, Doll, not in pants!". Make sure you mention that wet pants don't get a treat. Then change it back to dry pants and do another pants check and give a treat for the dry pants.

After this doll practice, which should take no more than half-an-hour, you can start training your child in the same way. Give lots of juice and do a dry-pants check about every 5 minutes, teaching him to feel his pants and answer "yes". Every 15 minutes or so, do a potty run. In the book they say that the first time you should tell him to go and lead him through the whole process, with your hands gently guiding him in pulling his pants down, etc. But every time after that you should limit your involvement more and more, as well as your direct instructions to go potty. You should get to the point where simply asking if his pants are dry instigates his own independent choice to go to the potty and do everything himself. Give a treat every time he passes the dry-pants inspection and a bigger treat every time he pees in the potty. Eventually, after a couple days, your praise should be enough of a reward and you can stop giving treats every time.

What about accidents? There will be many! Just be mentally prepared for it and ready with cleaning rags and a quick way to clean up like soapy water or a disinfecting spray. The book's method for dealing with accidents is to show disappointment, never anger, and do 10 quick practice runs to the potty without the "dumping the pot in the toilet" part. Start from the accident and then from many different parts of the house so that he grasps the idea that no matter where he is, when he needs to pee, he should quickly go to the potty. Then you teach him to clean up the accident, take off the wet underwear and put it somewhere specific like the bathtub, and put on dry underwear.

That's the idea and after he has successfully gone by himself several times, you can consider your child potty trained. The occasional accidents will still happen and you should continue regularly doing dry-pants inspections for several weeks.

What we did:
The range of ages that kids potty train is pretty wide, but I would say most often people wait till around 2 and a half years old. For a boy, I started our son pretty young, at 2 years and one month. The honest truth is that since we cloth-diaper (more on that here), I was getting really tired of the big 2-year-old diaper messes, plus the washing for two kids in diapers! So it was more for me, perhaps, although I did believe that he was showing signs of being ready.
I started on a Friday morning and I thought that two whole days of training would be good enough. Our Sundays are pretty full and busy at church, so I planned on having the training completed by then. That was failed assumption #1! After about 5 hours of "training", I literally had tears rolling down my cheeks in frustration! I felt like he wasn't getting it, I was running out of cleaning rags and dry underwear, he didn't have much interest in the reward system and he thought the 10 practice runs after accidents were funny!! It was way past his nap-time and we were all frustrated, including my 5 month-old! So I picked my son up out of yet another puddle on the floor, cleaned him up and put him down for a nap and sent a message to my husband saying I was giving up.

I decided to forget it for the rest of the evening. Next morning, after some encouragement from friends who have done this before, I gave it another try. Now I knew what to expect, I was more prepared for accidents and I even got smart and rolled up the rug in our play area! (Duh!) I decided that if it didn't seem to work, maybe he just wasn't ready and that was OK. We could try again in a few weeks. But lo and behold, it was getting better! I kept a tally on a dry-erase board of accidents vs. successes and the accidents were losing!

The book didn't really adress naps or bedtime with much detail, so I decided to keep his underwear on, but with a disposable diaper over it. That way he still had that underwear feeling, but I didn't have to worry about a wet bed. (I recommend having a plastic cover under the sheets anyway, or if you're like me, plastic garbage backs taped together.) I've used the "safety diaper" idea for church and other outings as well.

After about 3 days of training, even with church and a 5 month-old interrupting the process, our son was doing pretty good! He got all the steps right, from pulling his pants down to replacing the empty pot on the potty chair. But he still wasn't independently choosing to go potty like the book said. It has now been 13 days since we started and he hasn't yet voluntarily gone on his own. He sometimes tells us with words that he has to go, but for the most part, we look for his physical cues and tell him to go potty. He usually whines all the way there, but he still sits down and goes. If he doesn't, that's OK, at least he tried. I still ask him often if his pants are dry and I also constantly ask if he has to go potty. The answer is always "no", but I hope one of these days he will recognize that "yes" he needs to go. We have gone out to many places, mostly with the diaper over the underwear, but we try as much as possible to treat him as if he doesn't have a diaper. We have had to rush off the freeway and find a spot on the side of the road several times when we've heard the words "pee-pee!" from the back seat! When I ventured to the grocery store alone with both kids, I had to interrupt my shopping three times to take him to the restroom, and every time it was a false alarm! Then I realized that "pee-pee" must have been his new word of the day because he wouldn't stop saying it loudly during our whole time in the grocery store! That got lots of chuckles from other shoppers! And one of the times he didn't have the "security diaper" over his underwear, he made a nice puddle on the rug of the doctor's office!

It's been an adventure, but I've seen improvement every day and although it was extremely frustrating at first and for a while it felt like a lot more work than diapers, I'm so glad I didn't give up and kept trying!

Now he likes books!

A Few Last Tips:

The doll: Like I mentioned, I didn't want to buy one. So I used one of his bigger stuffed bears. I put a pair of underwear on it and filled one of those infant medicine syringes with water. When it was time for bear to pee in the potty, I would hide the syringe behind the bear and when my son was looking, I'd squirt out the water. I really think he believed it! :)
The snacks: Sometimes you have to think outside the box. I had been using fruit snacks, chex mix, chocolate covered raisins, chips and some lollipops. But the second day, my husband suggested olives. That was a huge hit and a much better incentive for him.
The accidents: I stopped doing 10 practice runs after the accidents and only did a few so that he wouldn't think it was a game. It might work for other kids, but not for mine.

The mess: Everyone with a toddler knows that having them "clean-up" makes a bigger mess! I had him clean up accidents together with me because ultimately my point is for him to learn where to go potty, not to be an expert cleaner! Same thing with dumping the pot in the toilet. The book's point is to get the child to do everything independently so you no longer have to even know or worry about it. Well, at my child's age, walking a pot of pee to the toilet and dumping it often results in a mess. So usually, when he has pulled his pants up, he comes out and we ask him to show us if he peed and then we supervise the rest of the process, as well as wash his hands at the end.

The toys: The book recommends putting away all his toys so he can focus on training. At first I was skeptical...what on earth is he supposed to do?? But the whole process (including accidents) does keep both of you busy enough to not have time for any playing. And it is true that as they learn this, they don't have the ability to interrupt something they are doing in order to recognize they need to go potty. Most accidents have happened when he is really absorbed in playing with one of his toys. Little by little I started introducing a few cars, books and other things. By now he has access to all his toys, but I'm constantly asking if his pants are dry, to remind him to be aware of that. I love hearing his little "Si!" coming from the other side of the house! (We speak to him in Spanish at home.)

The books: For us, it helped having a pile of board books by the potty chair by about the third day, when it wouldn't be a distraction from the training process. Like I mentioned, he usually whines all the way to the potty and I think it's because our first day was so rough that it wasn't at all "fun" to go potty. So after he knew what he was supposed to do on the potty, I used books to get him to sit there long enough to do it. This served a double purpose for me, since he has never had as much interest in books as I wish he did. Now he does! :)

The clothes: I added loose shorts over the underwear by the third day and a t-shirt by the fourth day. Make sure you are constantly running a load in the washer with the wet underwear...or buy way more than 10 pairs!

The praise: Utilize all the important people and even characters in your child's life to praise and motivate him. The first time we were able to show Daddy that he could do it all on his own, our son was so excited that he cheered and clapped for himself when he was done!

The shadow: You will soon learn that you need to be your child's constant shadow. After several accidents, you will learn to watch him closely at all times for several days, learning his cues for when he needs to go potty. In our case, I even had to realize he has night-time cues. He started crying or whining in the middle of the night and I quickly realized he needed to go potty but was subconsciously trying not to go in his pants! (A proud 3 a.m. half-asleep moment!). Now I try to limit the amount of liquid he drinks in the couple hours before bedtime, and usually he will wake up in the early morning with dry pants, go potty with my help, and go back to sleep.

The other things: What about #2? Nothing different. Eventually, on one of the potty times, it will happen and the only different thing to do is wipe, which is something they are already used to with diapers. And what about boys peeing while standing up? We have only done that on the side of the road so far. Everything he has learned already is a lot and I figure I will add the "aiming" talent once he's got this part down. I've been recommended by many people to use cheerios or froot-loops in the toilet for aiming purposes! :)

The disclaimer: At least for us, it didn't work in less than a day. We're on day #13 and we have had a few accidents today still! Some days we've had none, and other days it's like we regress a little, especially after spending time out and about, with other people and other toilets. But I still prefer the progress we have seen thus far over the other methods of trial-and-error that usually go on for months on end! However, I hear it's easier with girls, with kids that are a bit older and when totally uninterrupted during training. My mom used this method on all four of us kids and she said we all learned in one day. She said that even from the first night, I never ever had an accident! Impressive, right? I wish I could take the credit for that, but now I know how much work it takes for the parent!

Well, again sorry for the length, but I hope this is helpful to someone. If you have any other questions about our experience, I would love to answer! Please leave a comment!

Everybody Stinks

Obviously, blogging regularly with two kids under 3 and both still in diapers, is not easy. I really miss writing, but for now, the lack of time and inspiration only allow me to add a few lines here, as I nurse baby girl...and what's going through my mind? Somebody stinks! Diapers maybe? A sweaty baby? A sticky toddler driving his cars around me? A showerless mama? Yes, yes...we do. Everybody stinks. Good thing they are both so adorable and they love me even when I stink!

A foolish mom at midnight

Yes I know, I should be sleeping. Being up this late and trying to wake up at 6:30 in the morning (see previous post) is not a good combination. But sometimes you risk those things for the sheer pleasure of enjoying a quiet sleeping household. My mother always said silence is golden. Now I understand.
So how are my early mornings going? Well, honestly, some are earlier than others. And sometimes it's only 5 minutes before one or both little people wake up. But other times I have enjoyed a good solid half hour or so of quiet, reading, journaling and prayer! But whether 5 minutes or 30, those moments have been invaluable. Not only because I feel so refreshed, but because some of what I gain in those minutes stays with me all throughout the day. For some reason starting the day out like that makes me think about God and prayer more often during the day...especially during times when I feel like my patience it about to explode.

I also started reading The Power of a Praying Wife by Stormie Omartian. I've been intending to read it for about a year now and I finally got it from the library...wow! Every wife needs to read it! It has been so good. There are 30 short chapters about 30 different areas of a husband's life to pray over, so I try to read one chapter every morning and pray about that throughout the day. The most amazing thing, I think, is that although I'm praying for my husband, I feel myself being changed! What a difference it makes to be more intentional about speaking to God...and trying harder to listen to Him. Today a dear friend gave me the book for my birthday, so I'm so excited to be able to underline and write things in it tomorrow morning!

But before you get any ideas of how perfect and peaceful my life must be, let me tell you, it has been a tough week with the kids. They haven't been exceptionally difficult, just constantly on the edge, you know? It's been Mr. Whiny and Miss Crabby for a lot of the week and there are definitely moments when I am sure I cannot possibly be patient one more second! But in between those moments, there are so many other moments that melt my heart. I'm so thankful God gave each mom the ability to perceive her own kids as the cutest ones on the planet...that definitely helps when they are being difficult!

By the way, does anyone have any suggestions or cures for whining?

Ok, definitely bedtime now.

6:30 a.m. & coffee

Someone please tell me, can "mom" and "quiet time" even go in the same sentence? Maybe "quiet two minutes"!

This past Sunday in our weekly marriage class, we were newly challenged to keep our personal time with the Lord as the top priority that it should be, so that all our other priorities and relationships would be in their right place. My first reaction is at the beginning of this paragraph. My thoughts continued:

Seriously, the only time I could possibly have any quiet time alone would be before everyone is up in the morning, including the sun! And I'm just not willing to do that.... wait, what did I just say? Oh well, it would be so legalistic to make this poor tired mama get up that early...of course nobody would expect me to do that! Right?

But after this internal thought process, something inside was still unsettled. Don't I want more than this routine life? Don't I want my kids to have a mom filled with God's love and joy? Don't I know my life would be different if I gave God the right to my time and schedule?

But I'll be exhausted, crabby and even more coffee-addicted. And it will be so hard to stick to it and then I'll feel guilty. And that's legalistic.

That's about when I told those thoughts to shut-up.
Making a difference in my own life and the lives around me is what I want to do, and who said it was easy? I think I can trust God enough with my tiredness and...well, everything.
So 6:30 a.m. & coffee it is. God knows I'm not a morning person, so I need all the help and motivation I can get (like the accountability that putting this out there will hopefully give me).

Any moms out there have any secrets to making time to spend with God? In case I need to adjust my current plan. :)

Did you take something for it?

You can be sure that anytime I say to my husband, "I have a headache", he will ask "Did you take something for it?" Not only is he a guy, bent on "fixing" things, but he is also a nurse. So "Aw, poor Sweetie, come sit down and let me rub your head" isn't the first thing that comes to his mind. This goes into the issue of me expecting him to read my mind...but that's another subject. :) But of course, I know that rubbing my head most likely isn't going to get rid of my headache. It feels good and I'll like the attention, but it doesn't solve the problem.

This scenario has been going through my mind a lot lately because it has helped me remember to take on my husband's attitude when I face those days...you know, the days when nothing goes as planned, the kids won't stop crying, you burn the food, you run out of clean clothes, and the phone wont stop ringing. Or even just days when you wake up exhausted and everything that gets between you and coffee is at risk of extinction.

I've started asking myself, "Did you take something for it?" And what I mean by that is, do I just want to complain or am I going to do something about it? Am I going to dwell on my negative feelings or am I going to "take captive every thought" (2 Corinthians 10:5) and be willing to change?

When I'm in the middle of feeling overwhelmed or crabby, it's hard to think of just snapping out of it and suddenly changing my mood. Truth is, as any mom of young ones would know, I probably just need a full 24-hour nap and then I'd be the most cheerful person on earth! But that's not going to happen, so instead of ruining the day with crabbiness, I've tried to become intentional about "taking something for it" by doing two things:

#1 Change the atmosphere of my home. As a stay-at-home mom, I feel like I'm the guardian of what comes into my home, specially in the way of media. For example, I love listening to fun jazz; nothing wrong with that. But I've noticed quite a difference when I choose to play worship music throughout the day instead. Without even realizing, words of praise to God are flowing through my head...even as I'm falling asleep at night! It truly changes the atmosphere to a little more peace, a little more patience and grace. What kind of noise is coming from your TV, iPod or radio? What messages is it filling your home with?

#2 Change my perspective in certain situations where I have the tendency to become irritated or impatient. So my nearly two-year-old dumped all his toys right after I cleaned them up? Sometimes it may be a disobedience issue...but sometimes, maybe it's time for Mom to pause the to-do list and get on the floor to play for a while. So people dropped-in unexpectedly or I have to be somewhere and haven't had a chance to shower yet? Well, this is what I really, really look like and thank God for a loving husband and for deodorant!

As dorky as this sounds, I've been thinking "Pollyanna-style" a lot. Things are never perfect and often not even close to what we wish, but what is there to be "glad" or thankful about? I'd rather dwell on that and let it put a smile on my face.

"...whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things." Philippians 4:8

Chapters & Souvenirs

This is day five of sitting in a small hospital room with my little girl. She is doing so much better and hopefully we'll be going home tonight. It was so unplanned and unexpected to end up spending this long in the hospital. Some things make you wonder 'what was the point of that God?' and sometimes we will never know. But maybe in my hurry to fall into the routine and rythm of my "new" life with two kids, God knew I needed some quiet time. It's funny how much you forget when you never stop to think and pray a while.

I was just listening to Switchfoot's Souvenirs song (which is one of the things I've forgotten and re-discovered this week...my love for music). It's a song about memories and life happening without you realizing it. It reminds me of a conversation that my husband and I recently had about chapters in life. Throughout the years there are different themes and seasons that make up the different chapters. Funny thing is that we usually don't notice we are in a new chapter until we're right in the middle of it. In fact, we usually don't realize a chapter is closing until after it's closed!

It was Valentine's Day, actually, and we were reminiscing the time before we had kids. We had such freedom and flexibility in our decisions and schedule that we didn't even realize! We have so many wonderful memories. And then our son was born and we fell in love with him. Life would never be complete without him. But somewhere along that new chapter we suddenly realized that the last one was closed. Then we had our daughter, and the flexibility of having only one child suddenly disappeared. Another chapter closed.

You'd think since this happens all the time, we would be ready for the closing and opening of chapters, but somehow we never feel ready. That's why I kind of giggle when couples say they are waiting to have kids until they are ready. When they have their first kid they will realize that no matter how "ready" they felt, they still weren't ready enough. Life just happens and we learn as we go. There is a tinge of bittersweet feelings when you look back at what you had that you don't have anymore. But it's so awesome that every chapter is better than the last. When you walk life with your trust placed steadily in God, every new chapter brings something better and a happy ending is not just a hope, it's a reality.

This extended time to ponder and think has made me remember that there are things in the past that I wasn't supposed to leave behind, and there are things in the future that I need to keep my focus on. But mostly, I want to live fully in the present, remembering that every day is a page turned in this chapter and if I don't enjoy it fully and give it my all, I'll never get it back again. You know, it's the 'stop and smell the roses' type of thing. :)

Looking for Simplicity

It's almost the end of February and it's been a busy year already! Let's see...there was false labor, then real labor, new baby, lots of lovely visitors and house guests, two in diapers, family and church commitments, Valentine's, husband's birthday, and now, at the hospital again with our baby girl for RSV.

As much as I've wished for it, my longing for simplicity doesn't seem to be working out. I love being busy and involved, but sometimes I wish I lived in a little cottage out in the country where my main concerns were making delicious dinners, playing with my kids and hearing my family's laughter. The candles would be lit every night, there would be fresh flowers in vases. I would grow my own herbs on the window sill and maybe even venture into planting flowers outside! Oh, and the laundry would never pile up like the rocky mountains around my bedroom!

Ahhh...what a daydream. But of course, if I lived there it would not be perfect, I know. I believe God has us where we are for a reason, all of us. I also believe that I'm not meant to be disconnected from the people and world around me. Still, it takes some adjustment and learning to figure out how to balance everything, let alone just your own home and family!

So anyway, I'm looking for simplicity. I'm longing for it, really, because I honestly don't want to live the crazy-paced life that our generation seems trapped in. I don't want to look back and wonder where time went. I want to enjoy the little joys and moments with my little ones. I want to fully embrace the adventure that my husband and I are on. But I don't want to be a stressed-out, frazzled mom!

But since life itself doesn't seem to be calming down, I guess I'll have to discover the art of simplicity in the midst of it. Like sitting under a cozy blanket with a warm cup of cocoa, looking out the window at a thunderstorm. (I love doing that!) The Bible says God gives us peace that transcends understanding... when it doesn't make sense or it seems impossible, we can still live in His peace! I'm eager to discover how to apply that in this busy life!