Funny thing--I've been wanting to write all summer about what life is like being constantly interrupted by little ones and what that does to my brain. You'd think I'd be used to it by now, but if you walked through my house in the middle of the day, there's always a trail of unfinished things because every 2.5 minutes some little person needs something that usually requires me to go to a different room in the house. Obviously by the time I'm back, I've forgotten what I was doing before. And not being gifted with the multi-tasking talents most females have, by the end of the day my brain is mush. Which is why I have not taken the time to write about this all summer, since the only uninterrupted time I have is when the little angels are sleeping, which again, is mush-brain time. My poor husband. :) So how am I writing this now? Mostly one-handed, with a squirrelly one-year-old in lap, next to a two-year-old who insists the toy parrot needs to pee, and across from a singing four-year-old with a heaven-sent obsession with trains that keeps him easily occupied.
Showing posts with label Family. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Family. Show all posts
Tuesday, August 19, 2014
Friday, February 14, 2014
12 Old-fashioned Winter Activities for Toddlers
It is February in Minnesota, the month when all moms of toddlers start going CRAZY because the kids are STIR-CRAZY!! In the Fall, I thought to myself, "Hmm, it would be such a smart idea to make a winter activity list for those long winter days when the kids are bored." Well, it's no longer a smart idea, it's a survival necessity! :)
Tuesday, October 15, 2013
You Can't Do It
How's that for encouraging? This seems to be the message I keep getting lately in every area of life: you can't do it. It's actually an encouraging message! You see, I'm not capable, talented or wise enough. I'm not sufficiently loving, caring or compassionate...and heaven knows I'm not patient enough. I came to the great realization that NOBODY is born naturally patient. We've all said things like "I just don't have patience for that." Well, no one does. "I'm so patient" said no one ever! :)
There are situations and seasons of life that are just plain hard. Surely you can point to several in your past or your present. I thought it was just me for a while, but every time people see us with our three kids ages 3 and under, they give us that look that says "that's tough". And they don't mean it in a bad way. It is tough. Specially if they themselves have graduated from the baby/toddler stage of parenting, they know. It has helped me feel validated that I'm not just bad at this...this really is hard and it's ok to struggle. Parenting is one of the hardest things we have ever done and we are only three years into it!
Then there's marriage... no wonder they say most divorces happen when the kids are toddlers or after they've graduated from school! Take two sleep-deprived, exhausted-in-every-way people and surround them with cute darlings who cry a lot, stink often and who cause them to self-sacrifice in more ways than they ever imagined... let's just say, it's not a very romantic picture!
And yet, I can honestly say that I LOVE my life with all my heart. I am in love with my sweet husband more than ever, and I melt with love over my beautiful babies every single day. The reason is that I'm learning more and more that I can't do this at all. But nothing is impossible with God! I'm never enough, but He always is. I don't have what it takes, but He has that and more! If I had any bit of capability for managing on my own, I wouldn't need God in my life. But I do need Him and that is why even some of the toughest times can be the most beautiful. I've learned that even asking Him to take hardships away isn't always the best answer because it is through these things that He makes every day more beautiful than the last.
It's still hard. It's more work than I ever imagined. I still cry. I often feel frazzled. And then I remember I can't do it because I'm not supposed to do it alone. If God is for us, who can be against us?
There are situations and seasons of life that are just plain hard. Surely you can point to several in your past or your present. I thought it was just me for a while, but every time people see us with our three kids ages 3 and under, they give us that look that says "that's tough". And they don't mean it in a bad way. It is tough. Specially if they themselves have graduated from the baby/toddler stage of parenting, they know. It has helped me feel validated that I'm not just bad at this...this really is hard and it's ok to struggle. Parenting is one of the hardest things we have ever done and we are only three years into it!
Then there's marriage... no wonder they say most divorces happen when the kids are toddlers or after they've graduated from school! Take two sleep-deprived, exhausted-in-every-way people and surround them with cute darlings who cry a lot, stink often and who cause them to self-sacrifice in more ways than they ever imagined... let's just say, it's not a very romantic picture!
And yet, I can honestly say that I LOVE my life with all my heart. I am in love with my sweet husband more than ever, and I melt with love over my beautiful babies every single day. The reason is that I'm learning more and more that I can't do this at all. But nothing is impossible with God! I'm never enough, but He always is. I don't have what it takes, but He has that and more! If I had any bit of capability for managing on my own, I wouldn't need God in my life. But I do need Him and that is why even some of the toughest times can be the most beautiful. I've learned that even asking Him to take hardships away isn't always the best answer because it is through these things that He makes every day more beautiful than the last.
It's still hard. It's more work than I ever imagined. I still cry. I often feel frazzled. And then I remember I can't do it because I'm not supposed to do it alone. If God is for us, who can be against us?
Friday, August 23, 2013
A Week In Thoughts
So many things I want to write about. So little time. I keep dreaming of sitting at a coffee shop and pouring all my inspiration into writing, but I've realized I can keep dreaming or I can force myself to summarize. So here's the summary of the little things I'm learning lately, which by the way, I mostly write for my own benefit. Putting it into words helps me remember the lesson better.
Super Mom days may be followed by Super Hard days. Why? I don't know. But it's still ok to call your mom and cry.
Positive Words: Never thought I was a wife who needed to hear "I Love You" constantly. But without being asked, that's what my husband has been telling me over and over this week and it has strengthened me more than I can explain. Words are powerful. "Be careful what you say", they say. But also be intentionally positive with what you say, I say.
Embrace the Giggles. Sometimes it's bedtime and all you want is for the kid to get in bed and fall asleep ASAP. But then he gets the giggles. It's more fun to join in than to try to stop him sometimes.
The Sound of Music: life and chores are always better with music. And random dancing and twirling with the little peeps.
Make a short list. I love lists and I can really get carried away with them. But this week I made a list with three things on it just so I could actually cross them all off at the end of the day and feel accomplished.
Just do it. Sometimes you gotta forget the list and just do whatever's in front of you.
If there's any bit of humor in the situation, laugh.
That's it I think. Happy weekend!
Super Mom days may be followed by Super Hard days. Why? I don't know. But it's still ok to call your mom and cry.
Positive Words: Never thought I was a wife who needed to hear "I Love You" constantly. But without being asked, that's what my husband has been telling me over and over this week and it has strengthened me more than I can explain. Words are powerful. "Be careful what you say", they say. But also be intentionally positive with what you say, I say.
Embrace the Giggles. Sometimes it's bedtime and all you want is for the kid to get in bed and fall asleep ASAP. But then he gets the giggles. It's more fun to join in than to try to stop him sometimes.
The Sound of Music: life and chores are always better with music. And random dancing and twirling with the little peeps.
Make a short list. I love lists and I can really get carried away with them. But this week I made a list with three things on it just so I could actually cross them all off at the end of the day and feel accomplished.
Just do it. Sometimes you gotta forget the list and just do whatever's in front of you.
If there's any bit of humor in the situation, laugh.
That's it I think. Happy weekend!
Thursday, July 18, 2013
Stop and Smell the...Moment
I'm sure every woman that has dreamed about being a mom has had certain ideas or pictures in her mind of what that would look like. Then it happens and you soon realize there are also many things you never pictured happening to you...like a diaper explosion in your lap... while flying in a crowded airplane! Or food in your hair. Or many other more gross things I won't mention.
Then there are those moments when you have to stop and realize, "this is what I dreamed it would be like" and enjoy that moment for all its worth!
A few of those for me recently have been watching my son running between the sprinklers for the first time in his life, laughing with delight...
As I've made sure to stop and enjoy these moments, I've been feeling more grateful and awed than usual at how much God has blessed us!
Then there are those moments when you have to stop and realize, "this is what I dreamed it would be like" and enjoy that moment for all its worth!
A few of those for me recently have been watching my son running between the sprinklers for the first time in his life, laughing with delight...
He also helped me make a cake the other day and he actually listened and did his best to follow instructions!
I caught these two sitting in the same chair watching Little House on the Prairie.
Sibling love!
As I've made sure to stop and enjoy these moments, I've been feeling more grateful and awed than usual at how much God has blessed us!
Monday, June 17, 2013
Enough for Everyone
It's been six weeks since we became parents of three under three! Six weeks seems like a very long time right now. It has been a much bigger adjustment than we imagined. Of course, it didn't help that we also moved two weeks after giving birth! I love the kids, love the house, love that it's finally summer, I even love that it's been a rainy summer because for the most part, my world has been minimized to the inside of my house. I really have no energy or brain for much else outside my four walls! And it's taken me a while to realize that it's ok. It's a season. I do get out...to church, the grocery store and my moms small group. The basics. That's it. :) But I'm learning to enjoy this time. These kiddos will only be this age once and these years are crucial to them. But the trick is giving them the mom they deserve when I'm sleep-deprived, exhausted and tired... oh, wait, those are all the same thing?
Patience and grace don't come easy these days; much less a cheerful, smiley, singing mom! I want them to remember a happy mom, not a crabby, yelling, impatient one. It's not rocket science, but it's way harder than you think. Being a parent to multiple kids in the baby-toddler stage is like an intense crash course in selfless patience and integrity. Just because I'm so exhausted and they are so needy doesn't mean they shouldn't get smiles and hugs. And they can see right through me sometimes. Am I teaching them the right ways to react to stress and hard work? When they make mistakes, do they experience grace?
There are so many huge life lessons being established here, besides the regular survival things to think about (like meals and diapers), it can be truly overwhelming! There are always several moments throughout the day when I feel like I'm just not enough, like there just isn't enough of me to meet all these needs at the same time!
Recently, though, I was reminded of so many promises to hang onto during this time: God's grace is enough! And in my weakness, He is strong! His mercies are new every morning and His love never fails! Many, many more... I shall be writing them on my new chalkboard wall so I can remember. I'm not enough for anyone, but Jesus is. That's what I want my kids to know.
Patience and grace don't come easy these days; much less a cheerful, smiley, singing mom! I want them to remember a happy mom, not a crabby, yelling, impatient one. It's not rocket science, but it's way harder than you think. Being a parent to multiple kids in the baby-toddler stage is like an intense crash course in selfless patience and integrity. Just because I'm so exhausted and they are so needy doesn't mean they shouldn't get smiles and hugs. And they can see right through me sometimes. Am I teaching them the right ways to react to stress and hard work? When they make mistakes, do they experience grace?
There are so many huge life lessons being established here, besides the regular survival things to think about (like meals and diapers), it can be truly overwhelming! There are always several moments throughout the day when I feel like I'm just not enough, like there just isn't enough of me to meet all these needs at the same time!
Recently, though, I was reminded of so many promises to hang onto during this time: God's grace is enough! And in my weakness, He is strong! His mercies are new every morning and His love never fails! Many, many more... I shall be writing them on my new chalkboard wall so I can remember. I'm not enough for anyone, but Jesus is. That's what I want my kids to know.
Monday, April 22, 2013
Suspense!
To quote my husband earlier today, "It's like we're juggling all these balls but they refuse to come back down!" We are playing the waiting game in so many ways right now that it can get a little tense around here at times. Other times I'd just rather take a nap and pretend nothing is happening. I said "I'd rather"...not that naps happen that often.
It's that last month in pregnancy where days drag on and I can't help but hope this baby will come tomorrow! It's also a matter of weeks before we are supposed to close on a house and the excitement of settling down and having space for our little family and our many friends is unbearable...but things keep happening. One day it's for sure, the next day it isn't. At the moment it isn't quite for sure.
We are also trying to sub-lease our apartment so we can move into the house, so... what will happen first? Baby? New renters? House? Will we be homeless for a while? With a newborn?! Ha, that is very unlikely, I know. But just the way everything is hanging in mid-air, like those juggling balls, is very suspenseful for us right now.
Besides, hubby is starting a temporary nursing job to supplement the recent lack of extra shifts at his current job. And my lovely mom and sisters will be visiting the entire month of May, when all this is happening. And will it be a boy or girl? And will I survive with three kids under 3 years old? And how do I keep the normal mess explosions from happening while we're having showings for the small apartment we are in? And when will winter end???
So, we wait. And thankfully, not just wait, but wait on the Lord who is in control of everything and has planned this all out. I can just imagine he's chuckling a little at my anxiousness to see how He puts it all together.
It's that last month in pregnancy where days drag on and I can't help but hope this baby will come tomorrow! It's also a matter of weeks before we are supposed to close on a house and the excitement of settling down and having space for our little family and our many friends is unbearable...but things keep happening. One day it's for sure, the next day it isn't. At the moment it isn't quite for sure.
We are also trying to sub-lease our apartment so we can move into the house, so... what will happen first? Baby? New renters? House? Will we be homeless for a while? With a newborn?! Ha, that is very unlikely, I know. But just the way everything is hanging in mid-air, like those juggling balls, is very suspenseful for us right now.
Besides, hubby is starting a temporary nursing job to supplement the recent lack of extra shifts at his current job. And my lovely mom and sisters will be visiting the entire month of May, when all this is happening. And will it be a boy or girl? And will I survive with three kids under 3 years old? And how do I keep the normal mess explosions from happening while we're having showings for the small apartment we are in? And when will winter end???
So, we wait. And thankfully, not just wait, but wait on the Lord who is in control of everything and has planned this all out. I can just imagine he's chuckling a little at my anxiousness to see how He puts it all together.
Friday, February 22, 2013
Work Hard to Relax More: 7 Steps for Young Moms
"I feel like I need a life change" I told my wide-eyed husband recently. That probably wasn't the answer he was expecting to his usual "What are you thinking about?" question. Nevertheless, I felt like I needed to re-gain perspective and control in some areas. There were too many things that I had started to excuse as "normal" for a young mom; too many things I was just letting go and losing control of. Like what?Mountains of laundry and dishes. Always being late. Stressing about "what's for dinner" every day and not planning ahead. Mess. Dust. Dirty bathrooms. Trash cans overflowing. My ragged appearance. Lots of guilt. And if guests were coming over...everyone get out of the way of this stressed crazy mom as she frantically tries to make it look like it's all under control! And don't anyone dare show up unexpected!!
Well, I do have two toddlers, I'm pregnant and we have a difficult schedule because of my husband's work. Many reasons to excuse myself. Plus, all moms feel like this. This is normal... right??? So we convince ourselves to take it easy, slack of on a lot of things, bake a frozen pizza for dinner...again. Certainly there's a place for "easy days". We all come to a point where we need a break sometimes. But have you noticed that if you do that for a length of time, it doesn't make you less stressed because in the end you have way more work than before?
I decided I didn't want this to be my "normal". I don't know what goes on in other people's homes, but in mine, this wasn't working. I didn't want to be a stressed, crabby wife and mom all the time, so something had to change.
I decided to email my wise mom to ask her for some "loving but truthful" advice. She shared several ideas with me that I'm going to paraphrase here because although she seemed to think she was being too forward, I found them challenging and helpful:
1. No pain, no gain. It can be very easy to baby ourselves and convince ourselves of everything we deserve. If we are serious about letting God transform us into who He made us to be, it's not usually going to be very comfortable, but always worth it in the end. Basically, if you want to have truly relaxing times to enjoy with your family, you first have to spend some time working to get things done.
2. Divorce yourself from Facebook! Be willing to recognize how much time you waste on this or any other media and don't allow it to rob your time. It usually isn't necessary to check for updates, or even post updates, every couple hours. Keep it for when everything else is done and you'll see how much more you will accomplish!
3. Pajamas are for sleeping. Unless you're sick or it's a very rare occasion, there really is no need to stay in pj's all day and therefore be unprepared for guests or look unattractive for your husband. Besides, there's something about getting yourself dressed and ready in the morning that gives you a little more energy for the rest of the day.
4. Eat well. Make sure you are preparing healthy meals for yourself and your family. When it's just you and the kids, it's tempting to just snack all day, especially unhealthy snacks and sweets. Take time to prepare healthy, energizing meals and snacks instead.
5. Communicate with your spouse. Everyone knows this is crucial in marriage. With our typically opposite personalities and tendencies, we need to figure out a way to balance each other out. (In our case, I love a set plan and he loves spontaneity.) As a stay-at-home mom, the home is your workplace and certain things have to be done or else there will be chaos and stress. In order for you to be more flexible and relaxed about things, you need to make sure those not-optional things are done.
And I'm going to add two more of my own...
6. Plan ahead! Of course, I love planning and making lists. But even if you don't, it's necessary if you want to avoid last-minute stress of any kind! Plan meals, chores, budget, activities for when the kids get fussy, etc. I took a couple days to think and make a plan that works for myself to keep up with everything and it has truly helped! I hope to share that more in detail in another post. You know what works for you, so plan it and make it happen.
7. Get up earlier. What mom doesn't just HATE that I said that!? :) I do too, but it has helped me tremendously. I am not at all a morning person, but I've discovered that if I can get up even just half an hour before the kids, get myself a cup of coffee (I pre-set my coffee maker the night before so it's hot and ready to pour when I get up!) and sit down and read my Bible for a while, my attitude and my whole day are so much better! It's made enough of a difference to make me actually look forward to that quiet peaceful sunrise time. When my husband is home, he joins me and we both love it now!
I've been implementing these things for a few weeks now and I have seen great results. I have much to learn and improve still (...who doesn't?) but I am very excited about this because I was starting to think achieving any kind of routine in this busy stage of life was hopeless. Every now and then there are those messy or out-and-about-all-day-long days when not much gets accomplished. But most days, I feel more in control of my home and surroundings instead of the other way around, which allows me to have moments like this evening, sitting in a clean house with sleeping babes, a cup of hot cocoa and some free time to blog. In a mom's life, that's priceless! :)
Monday, January 21, 2013
Definitely a Season of "New"
It has been way too long, again, since I've written anything for many reasons:
1. Re-locating to a new area right before the holidays hit = crazy and forever long to get back into routine.
2. Holidays. Who has time for anything around that time? As fun as they can be, I'm one of those who is always glad when it's over.
3. Right in the middle of December, as we were working hard towards routine, I got my healthy meal plans going, we joined the YMCA and started working out, we were feeling good about ourselves... but my post-baby belly was not going away. In fact, I tried to blame my imagination, but I could swear it was getting bigger! And then...surprise!! My husband and I were on our way to being outnumbered by the little people in our home!
4. ...on our way to being outnumbered, not in 9 months, but in just under 5! I've heard all the questions that go through people's heads about this and I can give you many reasons (all of the above and more), but it's just one of those situations where I didn't know I was pregnant until I was 19 weeks and no, I'm not making it up.
5. Vacation! Put all of the above together and you can imagine how excited we were for family vacation with my folks! It was a wonderful time ...but unfortunately, we all got very sick, mostly me and baby girl (not the one in the belly, whose gender I don't know) and...
6. ...we both had terrible colds, coughs and fevers that lasted a couple weeks into January. My cough was bad enough that I tore a muscle in my side! That still hurts now, but thankfully I've been almost cough-free for 24 hours now!
So, all in all, it's been quite a holiday/new year season. Many adventures, many surprises. And I'm still trying to find my routine. I'm not giving it up for lost yet. I know it's around here somewhere! :) I'm seriously just so anxious and excited to finally plug in and get involved in our new community and church! Moving right before the holidays made establishing ourselves here a much longer process than we wished and now my goal it to make that happen before our new baby arrives!
Almost every moment I have with my 2 and almost 1 year-olds, I ask myself how in the world this is going to work with three!? But something that I've been learning to understanding lately is this: God never tests our ability to stand on our own or even to show how strong we are. He only tests our ability to run to Him and rely on His power. How amazing is that!!
1. Re-locating to a new area right before the holidays hit = crazy and forever long to get back into routine.
2. Holidays. Who has time for anything around that time? As fun as they can be, I'm one of those who is always glad when it's over.
3. Right in the middle of December, as we were working hard towards routine, I got my healthy meal plans going, we joined the YMCA and started working out, we were feeling good about ourselves... but my post-baby belly was not going away. In fact, I tried to blame my imagination, but I could swear it was getting bigger! And then...surprise!! My husband and I were on our way to being outnumbered by the little people in our home!
4. ...on our way to being outnumbered, not in 9 months, but in just under 5! I've heard all the questions that go through people's heads about this and I can give you many reasons (all of the above and more), but it's just one of those situations where I didn't know I was pregnant until I was 19 weeks and no, I'm not making it up.
5. Vacation! Put all of the above together and you can imagine how excited we were for family vacation with my folks! It was a wonderful time ...but unfortunately, we all got very sick, mostly me and baby girl (not the one in the belly, whose gender I don't know) and...
6. ...we both had terrible colds, coughs and fevers that lasted a couple weeks into January. My cough was bad enough that I tore a muscle in my side! That still hurts now, but thankfully I've been almost cough-free for 24 hours now!
So, all in all, it's been quite a holiday/new year season. Many adventures, many surprises. And I'm still trying to find my routine. I'm not giving it up for lost yet. I know it's around here somewhere! :) I'm seriously just so anxious and excited to finally plug in and get involved in our new community and church! Moving right before the holidays made establishing ourselves here a much longer process than we wished and now my goal it to make that happen before our new baby arrives!
Almost every moment I have with my 2 and almost 1 year-olds, I ask myself how in the world this is going to work with three!? But something that I've been learning to understanding lately is this: God never tests our ability to stand on our own or even to show how strong we are. He only tests our ability to run to Him and rely on His power. How amazing is that!!
Friday, October 26, 2012
A Cozy Sunrise
It's been a while. We now live in a new city, in a wonderful little townhome overlooking a lake! A lot has happened, yet sometimes it seems like not much at all. We've cleaned and packed and cleaned and travelled and moved and cleaned and unpacked and cleaned some more. I'm not that crazy about cleaning, but it was pretty dirty! We've said many sad good-byes there and many nice-to-to-see-you-agains here. We've discovered our local grocery stores, library and playgrounds.
But at the same time, whenever you're in a place where you don't yet know many people and don't have an established community of friends, it seems like not much happens at all. We are looking forward to finding a church to plug into and make friends!
Still, so much to be thankful for: Husband's job is going well, the kids have been marvelous at adapting, and having this time as a family to discover a new place together is amazing. But one of my favorite things about living "north" is being COZY! :) It got pretty chilly almost as soon as we got here a few weeks ago so I've been thoroughly enjoying my sofa, soft blankets and many cups of hot drinks whenever I can! Right now, it's not my ideal time to do that, perhaps...at 6 a.m. after a sleepless night with a feverish baby girl. But maybe it is. I just looked behind my shoulder and there are blueish orange colors coming up from the lake! Sunrise...something I usually skip and should learn to enjoy more often.
But at the same time, whenever you're in a place where you don't yet know many people and don't have an established community of friends, it seems like not much happens at all. We are looking forward to finding a church to plug into and make friends!
Still, so much to be thankful for: Husband's job is going well, the kids have been marvelous at adapting, and having this time as a family to discover a new place together is amazing. But one of my favorite things about living "north" is being COZY! :) It got pretty chilly almost as soon as we got here a few weeks ago so I've been thoroughly enjoying my sofa, soft blankets and many cups of hot drinks whenever I can! Right now, it's not my ideal time to do that, perhaps...at 6 a.m. after a sleepless night with a feverish baby girl. But maybe it is. I just looked behind my shoulder and there are blueish orange colors coming up from the lake! Sunrise...something I usually skip and should learn to enjoy more often.
Friday, September 7, 2012
I choose trust...again.
It seems like every season that I go through in life, I can always look back and say that trusting God was the greatest lesson I learned. I used to think that was just one of the lessons among many others that I would learn in life. After a few rounds of it, I started wondering if I was failing the lesson since I kept getting the same thing over and over. Now I realize, trusting God is pretty much at the core of everything else. I do learn many other things, but not without adding another layer of trust to my foundation.
In a matter of days, our little family is about to embark on a huge adventure: a transition from the very south of the country to the very north. I cannot put into words all the feelings and thoughts that this entails because this would become a novel and I have an entire kitchen to pack and two busy kids who will be awake shortly. But all I know is that above all the little voices of worry, fear and unanswered questions, I choose trust. I already know it's not going to be easy and that there will be a lot of adjustment. That's not a surprise. So rather than dwell on those things and try to control all the unknown details, I want to take one step at a time and let God lead. After all, we've done this before...this letting Him be in control thing. And we've always been better-off in the end than we could have orchestrated ourselves. Already in the steps leading up to this, we have seen God move on our behalf in ways we couldn't have made happen by ourselves! This fills me with such hope and excitement and I'd rather stick with those things than with worry and anxiety. We women sometimes have such a habit of trying to control things and figuring out just how everything needs to happen. Don't you wonder, though, what it could have been had you let God be in control? I don't want to wonder. :)
Disclaimer: I think God teaches us trust over and over because these are decisions we have to make daily, even from hour to hour. That is why I'm declaring this about myself, not because I have it all figured out.
In a matter of days, our little family is about to embark on a huge adventure: a transition from the very south of the country to the very north. I cannot put into words all the feelings and thoughts that this entails because this would become a novel and I have an entire kitchen to pack and two busy kids who will be awake shortly. But all I know is that above all the little voices of worry, fear and unanswered questions, I choose trust. I already know it's not going to be easy and that there will be a lot of adjustment. That's not a surprise. So rather than dwell on those things and try to control all the unknown details, I want to take one step at a time and let God lead. After all, we've done this before...this letting Him be in control thing. And we've always been better-off in the end than we could have orchestrated ourselves. Already in the steps leading up to this, we have seen God move on our behalf in ways we couldn't have made happen by ourselves! This fills me with such hope and excitement and I'd rather stick with those things than with worry and anxiety. We women sometimes have such a habit of trying to control things and figuring out just how everything needs to happen. Don't you wonder, though, what it could have been had you let God be in control? I don't want to wonder. :)
Disclaimer: I think God teaches us trust over and over because these are decisions we have to make daily, even from hour to hour. That is why I'm declaring this about myself, not because I have it all figured out.
Wednesday, July 18, 2012
Potty Training: You Can Do This!
To anyone who wants to start this process and would like to know how others did it, this is our detailed story and I apologize, there is no way to make it short! :)
The method I used is from an old book that claims you can potty train in one day! Many friends, including my mom, recommended it, but I was warned that it could take up to 5 days. I won't go into all the details in the book because you can google it and read it yourself. But I'll try to give you a summary of their method and then the details of how we did it.
What you will need:
~Potty Chair with an easy-to-remove pot (the kind that just sits on top, not the kind you have to pull out from behind)
~A variety of snacks (especially salty) and drinks
~Other rewards your child might like (we used stickers)
~A doll that pees (I didn't want to buy one, so I got creative and used a stuffed bear...more on that later)
~8-10 pairs of loose-fitting underwear (at least!)
~Cleaning rags and soapy water to clean up accidents
~Paper and pen to track times and progress
~Lots of patience and maybe treats for yourself as well!
What the point is:
The goal is to get your toddler to completely toilet himself, a process which includes pulling down his pants, sitting on the potty and doing his business, standing up and pulling his pants back on, taking the pot to the toilet and dumping it, flushing the toilet (while still holding the pot in one hand), and putting the pot back on the potty chair. Sounds like too much? Let me tell you that for us, this was the easy part!
The difficult part is getting him to recognize when he has to go and getting himself to the potty on time. The idea is that you dedicate a few complete days to this training, letting nothing else, not even phone calls, interfere. It's better to do this in the summertime so that you can let your toddler run around in only underwear, since dealing with other clothes while learning to pull his pants down and up is difficult.
What to do:
You start out with several practice runs with the doll, describing everything out loud and getting to the point where the child "teaches" the doll by helping it do all the steps. You "give" the doll a drink, take it to the potty chair, pull down its underwear, make it sit and make sure your child is watching when it pees. You praise the doll for peeing in the potty and give it a treat, which you let your child have, while explaining that he will get a treat when he goes to the potty too. Then you teach him how to take the pot out of the potty chair, walk to the toilet, dump, flush and replace the pot. Guide him carefully through a couple runs, but gradually let him start doing it himself. You will be surprised how quickly they pick up on the whole routine. It is best, if possible, to place the potty chair in a spot that is an easy walk from the toilet, but not too far from the kitchen where you can have easy access to drinks and snacks.
Between potty runs, you constantly ask the question (to the doll in this case) "Are your pants dry?" and after guiding your child's hand to feel what "dry" feels like, the doll (and child) gets a small treat. At one point, you wet the doll's pants with water when your child isn't looking and ask the same question. When your child feels that they are wet, make a big deal about how disappointing this is. Then you quickly take the doll to the potty, pull down pants, sit her down, say "Pee-pee in potty, Doll, not in pants!". Make sure you mention that wet pants don't get a treat. Then change it back to dry pants and do another pants check and give a treat for the dry pants.
After this doll practice, which should take no more than half-an-hour, you can start training your child in the same way. Give lots of juice and do a dry-pants check about every 5 minutes, teaching him to feel his pants and answer "yes". Every 15 minutes or so, do a potty run. In the book they say that the first time you should tell him to go and lead him through the whole process, with your hands gently guiding him in pulling his pants down, etc. But every time after that you should limit your involvement more and more, as well as your direct instructions to go potty. You should get to the point where simply asking if his pants are dry instigates his own independent choice to go to the potty and do everything himself. Give a treat every time he passes the dry-pants inspection and a bigger treat every time he pees in the potty. Eventually, after a couple days, your praise should be enough of a reward and you can stop giving treats every time.
What about accidents? There will be many! Just be mentally prepared for it and ready with cleaning rags and a quick way to clean up like soapy water or a disinfecting spray. The book's method for dealing with accidents is to show disappointment, never anger, and do 10 quick practice runs to the potty without the "dumping the pot in the toilet" part. Start from the accident and then from many different parts of the house so that he grasps the idea that no matter where he is, when he needs to pee, he should quickly go to the potty. Then you teach him to clean up the accident, take off the wet underwear and put it somewhere specific like the bathtub, and put on dry underwear.
That's the idea and after he has successfully gone by himself several times, you can consider your child potty trained. The occasional accidents will still happen and you should continue regularly doing dry-pants inspections for several weeks.
What we did:
The range of ages that kids potty train is pretty wide, but I would say most often people wait till around 2 and a half years old. For a boy, I started our son pretty young, at 2 years and one month. The honest truth is that since we cloth-diaper (more on that here), I was getting really tired of the big 2-year-old diaper messes, plus the washing for two kids in diapers! So it was more for me, perhaps, although I did believe that he was showing signs of being ready.
I started on a Friday morning and I thought that two whole days of training would be good enough. Our Sundays are pretty full and busy at church, so I planned on having the training completed by then. That was failed assumption #1! After about 5 hours of "training", I literally had tears rolling down my cheeks in frustration! I felt like he wasn't getting it, I was running out of cleaning rags and dry underwear, he didn't have much interest in the reward system and he thought the 10 practice runs after accidents were funny!! It was way past his nap-time and we were all frustrated, including my 5 month-old! So I picked my son up out of yet another puddle on the floor, cleaned him up and put him down for a nap and sent a message to my husband saying I was giving up.
I decided to forget it for the rest of the evening. Next morning, after some encouragement from friends who have done this before, I gave it another try. Now I knew what to expect, I was more prepared for accidents and I even got smart and rolled up the rug in our play area! (Duh!) I decided that if it didn't seem to work, maybe he just wasn't ready and that was OK. We could try again in a few weeks. But lo and behold, it was getting better! I kept a tally on a dry-erase board of accidents vs. successes and the accidents were losing!
The book didn't really adress naps or bedtime with much detail, so I decided to keep his underwear on, but with a disposable diaper over it. That way he still had that underwear feeling, but I didn't have to worry about a wet bed. (I recommend having a plastic cover under the sheets anyway, or if you're like me, plastic garbage backs taped together.) I've used the "safety diaper" idea for church and other outings as well.
After about 3 days of training, even with church and a 5 month-old interrupting the process, our son was doing pretty good! He got all the steps right, from pulling his pants down to replacing the empty pot on the potty chair. But he still wasn't independently choosing to go potty like the book said. It has now been 13 days since we started and he hasn't yet voluntarily gone on his own. He sometimes tells us with words that he has to go, but for the most part, we look for his physical cues and tell him to go potty. He usually whines all the way there, but he still sits down and goes. If he doesn't, that's OK, at least he tried. I still ask him often if his pants are dry and I also constantly ask if he has to go potty. The answer is always "no", but I hope one of these days he will recognize that "yes" he needs to go. We have gone out to many places, mostly with the diaper over the underwear, but we try as much as possible to treat him as if he doesn't have a diaper. We have had to rush off the freeway and find a spot on the side of the road several times when we've heard the words "pee-pee!" from the back seat! When I ventured to the grocery store alone with both kids, I had to interrupt my shopping three times to take him to the restroom, and every time it was a false alarm! Then I realized that "pee-pee" must have been his new word of the day because he wouldn't stop saying it loudly during our whole time in the grocery store! That got lots of chuckles from other shoppers! And one of the times he didn't have the "security diaper" over his underwear, he made a nice puddle on the rug of the doctor's office!
It's been an adventure, but I've seen improvement every day and although it was extremely frustrating at first and for a while it felt like a lot more work than diapers, I'm so glad I didn't give up and kept trying!
A Few Last Tips:
The doll: Like I mentioned, I didn't want to buy one. So I used one of his bigger stuffed bears. I put a pair of underwear on it and filled one of those infant medicine syringes with water. When it was time for bear to pee in the potty, I would hide the syringe behind the bear and when my son was looking, I'd squirt out the water. I really think he believed it! :)
The snacks: Sometimes you have to think outside the box. I had been using fruit snacks, chex mix, chocolate covered raisins, chips and some lollipops. But the second day, my husband suggested olives. That was a huge hit and a much better incentive for him.
The accidents: I stopped doing 10 practice runs after the accidents and only did a few so that he wouldn't think it was a game. It might work for other kids, but not for mine.
The mess: Everyone with a toddler knows that having them "clean-up" makes a bigger mess! I had him clean up accidents together with me because ultimately my point is for him to learn where to go potty, not to be an expert cleaner! Same thing with dumping the pot in the toilet. The book's point is to get the child to do everything independently so you no longer have to even know or worry about it. Well, at my child's age, walking a pot of pee to the toilet and dumping it often results in a mess. So usually, when he has pulled his pants up, he comes out and we ask him to show us if he peed and then we supervise the rest of the process, as well as wash his hands at the end.
The toys: The book recommends putting away all his toys so he can focus on training. At first I was skeptical...what on earth is he supposed to do?? But the whole process (including accidents) does keep both of you busy enough to not have time for any playing. And it is true that as they learn this, they don't have the ability to interrupt something they are doing in order to recognize they need to go potty. Most accidents have happened when he is really absorbed in playing with one of his toys. Little by little I started introducing a few cars, books and other things. By now he has access to all his toys, but I'm constantly asking if his pants are dry, to remind him to be aware of that. I love hearing his little "Si!" coming from the other side of the house! (We speak to him in Spanish at home.)
The books: For us, it helped having a pile of board books by the potty chair by about the third day, when it wouldn't be a distraction from the training process. Like I mentioned, he usually whines all the way to the potty and I think it's because our first day was so rough that it wasn't at all "fun" to go potty. So after he knew what he was supposed to do on the potty, I used books to get him to sit there long enough to do it. This served a double purpose for me, since he has never had as much interest in books as I wish he did. Now he does! :)
The clothes: I added loose shorts over the underwear by the third day and a t-shirt by the fourth day. Make sure you are constantly running a load in the washer with the wet underwear...or buy way more than 10 pairs!
The praise: Utilize all the important people and even characters in your child's life to praise and motivate him. The first time we were able to show Daddy that he could do it all on his own, our son was so excited that he cheered and clapped for himself when he was done!
The shadow: You will soon learn that you need to be your child's constant shadow. After several accidents, you will learn to watch him closely at all times for several days, learning his cues for when he needs to go potty. In our case, I even had to realize he has night-time cues. He started crying or whining in the middle of the night and I quickly realized he needed to go potty but was subconsciously trying not to go in his pants! (A proud 3 a.m. half-asleep moment!). Now I try to limit the amount of liquid he drinks in the couple hours before bedtime, and usually he will wake up in the early morning with dry pants, go potty with my help, and go back to sleep.
The other things: What about #2? Nothing different. Eventually, on one of the potty times, it will happen and the only different thing to do is wipe, which is something they are already used to with diapers. And what about boys peeing while standing up? We have only done that on the side of the road so far. Everything he has learned already is a lot and I figure I will add the "aiming" talent once he's got this part down. I've been recommended by many people to use cheerios or froot-loops in the toilet for aiming purposes! :)
The disclaimer: At least for us, it didn't work in less than a day. We're on day #13 and we have had a few accidents today still! Some days we've had none, and other days it's like we regress a little, especially after spending time out and about, with other people and other toilets. But I still prefer the progress we have seen thus far over the other methods of trial-and-error that usually go on for months on end! However, I hear it's easier with girls, with kids that are a bit older and when totally uninterrupted during training. My mom used this method on all four of us kids and she said we all learned in one day. She said that even from the first night, I never ever had an accident! Impressive, right? I wish I could take the credit for that, but now I know how much work it takes for the parent!
Well, again sorry for the length, but I hope this is helpful to someone. If you have any other questions about our experience, I would love to answer! Please leave a comment!
 |
| Potty chair and "Pee Bear" |
What you will need:
~Potty Chair with an easy-to-remove pot (the kind that just sits on top, not the kind you have to pull out from behind)
~A variety of snacks (especially salty) and drinks
~Other rewards your child might like (we used stickers)
~A doll that pees (I didn't want to buy one, so I got creative and used a stuffed bear...more on that later)
~8-10 pairs of loose-fitting underwear (at least!)
~Cleaning rags and soapy water to clean up accidents
~Paper and pen to track times and progress
~Lots of patience and maybe treats for yourself as well!
 |
| Treats and Drinks |
The goal is to get your toddler to completely toilet himself, a process which includes pulling down his pants, sitting on the potty and doing his business, standing up and pulling his pants back on, taking the pot to the toilet and dumping it, flushing the toilet (while still holding the pot in one hand), and putting the pot back on the potty chair. Sounds like too much? Let me tell you that for us, this was the easy part!
The difficult part is getting him to recognize when he has to go and getting himself to the potty on time. The idea is that you dedicate a few complete days to this training, letting nothing else, not even phone calls, interfere. It's better to do this in the summertime so that you can let your toddler run around in only underwear, since dealing with other clothes while learning to pull his pants down and up is difficult.
 |
| Sticker Rewards marking all the times he successfully went potty! |
What to do:
You start out with several practice runs with the doll, describing everything out loud and getting to the point where the child "teaches" the doll by helping it do all the steps. You "give" the doll a drink, take it to the potty chair, pull down its underwear, make it sit and make sure your child is watching when it pees. You praise the doll for peeing in the potty and give it a treat, which you let your child have, while explaining that he will get a treat when he goes to the potty too. Then you teach him how to take the pot out of the potty chair, walk to the toilet, dump, flush and replace the pot. Guide him carefully through a couple runs, but gradually let him start doing it himself. You will be surprised how quickly they pick up on the whole routine. It is best, if possible, to place the potty chair in a spot that is an easy walk from the toilet, but not too far from the kitchen where you can have easy access to drinks and snacks.
Between potty runs, you constantly ask the question (to the doll in this case) "Are your pants dry?" and after guiding your child's hand to feel what "dry" feels like, the doll (and child) gets a small treat. At one point, you wet the doll's pants with water when your child isn't looking and ask the same question. When your child feels that they are wet, make a big deal about how disappointing this is. Then you quickly take the doll to the potty, pull down pants, sit her down, say "Pee-pee in potty, Doll, not in pants!". Make sure you mention that wet pants don't get a treat. Then change it back to dry pants and do another pants check and give a treat for the dry pants.
After this doll practice, which should take no more than half-an-hour, you can start training your child in the same way. Give lots of juice and do a dry-pants check about every 5 minutes, teaching him to feel his pants and answer "yes". Every 15 minutes or so, do a potty run. In the book they say that the first time you should tell him to go and lead him through the whole process, with your hands gently guiding him in pulling his pants down, etc. But every time after that you should limit your involvement more and more, as well as your direct instructions to go potty. You should get to the point where simply asking if his pants are dry instigates his own independent choice to go to the potty and do everything himself. Give a treat every time he passes the dry-pants inspection and a bigger treat every time he pees in the potty. Eventually, after a couple days, your praise should be enough of a reward and you can stop giving treats every time.
What about accidents? There will be many! Just be mentally prepared for it and ready with cleaning rags and a quick way to clean up like soapy water or a disinfecting spray. The book's method for dealing with accidents is to show disappointment, never anger, and do 10 quick practice runs to the potty without the "dumping the pot in the toilet" part. Start from the accident and then from many different parts of the house so that he grasps the idea that no matter where he is, when he needs to pee, he should quickly go to the potty. Then you teach him to clean up the accident, take off the wet underwear and put it somewhere specific like the bathtub, and put on dry underwear.
That's the idea and after he has successfully gone by himself several times, you can consider your child potty trained. The occasional accidents will still happen and you should continue regularly doing dry-pants inspections for several weeks.
The range of ages that kids potty train is pretty wide, but I would say most often people wait till around 2 and a half years old. For a boy, I started our son pretty young, at 2 years and one month. The honest truth is that since we cloth-diaper (more on that here), I was getting really tired of the big 2-year-old diaper messes, plus the washing for two kids in diapers! So it was more for me, perhaps, although I did believe that he was showing signs of being ready.
I started on a Friday morning and I thought that two whole days of training would be good enough. Our Sundays are pretty full and busy at church, so I planned on having the training completed by then. That was failed assumption #1! After about 5 hours of "training", I literally had tears rolling down my cheeks in frustration! I felt like he wasn't getting it, I was running out of cleaning rags and dry underwear, he didn't have much interest in the reward system and he thought the 10 practice runs after accidents were funny!! It was way past his nap-time and we were all frustrated, including my 5 month-old! So I picked my son up out of yet another puddle on the floor, cleaned him up and put him down for a nap and sent a message to my husband saying I was giving up.
I decided to forget it for the rest of the evening. Next morning, after some encouragement from friends who have done this before, I gave it another try. Now I knew what to expect, I was more prepared for accidents and I even got smart and rolled up the rug in our play area! (Duh!) I decided that if it didn't seem to work, maybe he just wasn't ready and that was OK. We could try again in a few weeks. But lo and behold, it was getting better! I kept a tally on a dry-erase board of accidents vs. successes and the accidents were losing!
The book didn't really adress naps or bedtime with much detail, so I decided to keep his underwear on, but with a disposable diaper over it. That way he still had that underwear feeling, but I didn't have to worry about a wet bed. (I recommend having a plastic cover under the sheets anyway, or if you're like me, plastic garbage backs taped together.) I've used the "safety diaper" idea for church and other outings as well.
After about 3 days of training, even with church and a 5 month-old interrupting the process, our son was doing pretty good! He got all the steps right, from pulling his pants down to replacing the empty pot on the potty chair. But he still wasn't independently choosing to go potty like the book said. It has now been 13 days since we started and he hasn't yet voluntarily gone on his own. He sometimes tells us with words that he has to go, but for the most part, we look for his physical cues and tell him to go potty. He usually whines all the way there, but he still sits down and goes. If he doesn't, that's OK, at least he tried. I still ask him often if his pants are dry and I also constantly ask if he has to go potty. The answer is always "no", but I hope one of these days he will recognize that "yes" he needs to go. We have gone out to many places, mostly with the diaper over the underwear, but we try as much as possible to treat him as if he doesn't have a diaper. We have had to rush off the freeway and find a spot on the side of the road several times when we've heard the words "pee-pee!" from the back seat! When I ventured to the grocery store alone with both kids, I had to interrupt my shopping three times to take him to the restroom, and every time it was a false alarm! Then I realized that "pee-pee" must have been his new word of the day because he wouldn't stop saying it loudly during our whole time in the grocery store! That got lots of chuckles from other shoppers! And one of the times he didn't have the "security diaper" over his underwear, he made a nice puddle on the rug of the doctor's office!
It's been an adventure, but I've seen improvement every day and although it was extremely frustrating at first and for a while it felt like a lot more work than diapers, I'm so glad I didn't give up and kept trying!
 |
| Now he likes books! |
The doll: Like I mentioned, I didn't want to buy one. So I used one of his bigger stuffed bears. I put a pair of underwear on it and filled one of those infant medicine syringes with water. When it was time for bear to pee in the potty, I would hide the syringe behind the bear and when my son was looking, I'd squirt out the water. I really think he believed it! :)
The snacks: Sometimes you have to think outside the box. I had been using fruit snacks, chex mix, chocolate covered raisins, chips and some lollipops. But the second day, my husband suggested olives. That was a huge hit and a much better incentive for him.
The accidents: I stopped doing 10 practice runs after the accidents and only did a few so that he wouldn't think it was a game. It might work for other kids, but not for mine.
The mess: Everyone with a toddler knows that having them "clean-up" makes a bigger mess! I had him clean up accidents together with me because ultimately my point is for him to learn where to go potty, not to be an expert cleaner! Same thing with dumping the pot in the toilet. The book's point is to get the child to do everything independently so you no longer have to even know or worry about it. Well, at my child's age, walking a pot of pee to the toilet and dumping it often results in a mess. So usually, when he has pulled his pants up, he comes out and we ask him to show us if he peed and then we supervise the rest of the process, as well as wash his hands at the end.
The toys: The book recommends putting away all his toys so he can focus on training. At first I was skeptical...what on earth is he supposed to do?? But the whole process (including accidents) does keep both of you busy enough to not have time for any playing. And it is true that as they learn this, they don't have the ability to interrupt something they are doing in order to recognize they need to go potty. Most accidents have happened when he is really absorbed in playing with one of his toys. Little by little I started introducing a few cars, books and other things. By now he has access to all his toys, but I'm constantly asking if his pants are dry, to remind him to be aware of that. I love hearing his little "Si!" coming from the other side of the house! (We speak to him in Spanish at home.)
The books: For us, it helped having a pile of board books by the potty chair by about the third day, when it wouldn't be a distraction from the training process. Like I mentioned, he usually whines all the way to the potty and I think it's because our first day was so rough that it wasn't at all "fun" to go potty. So after he knew what he was supposed to do on the potty, I used books to get him to sit there long enough to do it. This served a double purpose for me, since he has never had as much interest in books as I wish he did. Now he does! :)
The clothes: I added loose shorts over the underwear by the third day and a t-shirt by the fourth day. Make sure you are constantly running a load in the washer with the wet underwear...or buy way more than 10 pairs!
The praise: Utilize all the important people and even characters in your child's life to praise and motivate him. The first time we were able to show Daddy that he could do it all on his own, our son was so excited that he cheered and clapped for himself when he was done!
The shadow: You will soon learn that you need to be your child's constant shadow. After several accidents, you will learn to watch him closely at all times for several days, learning his cues for when he needs to go potty. In our case, I even had to realize he has night-time cues. He started crying or whining in the middle of the night and I quickly realized he needed to go potty but was subconsciously trying not to go in his pants! (A proud 3 a.m. half-asleep moment!). Now I try to limit the amount of liquid he drinks in the couple hours before bedtime, and usually he will wake up in the early morning with dry pants, go potty with my help, and go back to sleep.
The other things: What about #2? Nothing different. Eventually, on one of the potty times, it will happen and the only different thing to do is wipe, which is something they are already used to with diapers. And what about boys peeing while standing up? We have only done that on the side of the road so far. Everything he has learned already is a lot and I figure I will add the "aiming" talent once he's got this part down. I've been recommended by many people to use cheerios or froot-loops in the toilet for aiming purposes! :)
The disclaimer: At least for us, it didn't work in less than a day. We're on day #13 and we have had a few accidents today still! Some days we've had none, and other days it's like we regress a little, especially after spending time out and about, with other people and other toilets. But I still prefer the progress we have seen thus far over the other methods of trial-and-error that usually go on for months on end! However, I hear it's easier with girls, with kids that are a bit older and when totally uninterrupted during training. My mom used this method on all four of us kids and she said we all learned in one day. She said that even from the first night, I never ever had an accident! Impressive, right? I wish I could take the credit for that, but now I know how much work it takes for the parent!
Well, again sorry for the length, but I hope this is helpful to someone. If you have any other questions about our experience, I would love to answer! Please leave a comment!
Tuesday, July 3, 2012
At Grandma's
Currently I am sitting on the back patio of my parents' house, listening to old Adventures in Odyssey on CASSETTE TAPE with my husband and grown-up siblings. Yep, we are. :)
It's been a great week enjoying some time off with my family. Now that all four of us "kids" are no longer kids, it's only a couple times a year that we get to all be together. What has been specially fun for me is coming back to my parents' place as a mom and watching my own kids have as much fun as I remember having at my grandma's house as a kid. Unlike my grandma, my parents live in the city, but my mom has still managed to create (probably without even realizing it) the same kind of experiences for my kids that I remember having at my grandma's house. These are some of them:
Great food: Nothing like homemade Mexican rice and beans! And tonight my mom is making one of my favorites - banana pudding! When I was little, my grandma would always make homemade tortillas, fill them with a soft creamy cheese called "requezon" and roll them up for us kids. My mouth still waters every time I think of those!
The animals: My grandma used to have chickens, peacocks, turkeys, cows, dogs, cats, birds and deer...yes, deer. My parents only have dogs, which I'm thankful for...they don't need more animals! But the way my son begs to go see the dogs outside every time he hears them bark reminds me of us begging our aunts to take us to see the chickens. My brother also has several fish in a large tank...a favorite with my son as well.
The pool: Nothing like it in the hot Mexican summers. Last night we had so many inflatable mats and rafts in the pool (which isn't very big), you could hardly see the water!
Plants and flowers: everywhere! I remember following my grandma around her yard checking on the progress of her oranges, limes, avocados and coconuts. This year, my mom has grown a papaya plant, a grape vine, a lime tree, chili plants and many beautiful flowers.
The hammocks: endless entertainment for us as kids, and my grandma used to lullaby us to sleep in them. As I write, my kids are experiencing their first swings in my mom's hammock.
And some extras that my grandma didn't have:
The trampoline...not every kid has a grandma who likes to jump on a trampoline!
And the wall-to-wall bookshelf, full of all kinds of books for kids (young and old) to enjoy.
These and many more are the delights that we are enjoying together as a family this week. And more than any of this is the fact that we are so blessed to not just be family, but friends. It's not always easy to find like-minded friends and people who love and support everything you are...we are extremely blessed to have that in each other.
It's been a great week enjoying some time off with my family. Now that all four of us "kids" are no longer kids, it's only a couple times a year that we get to all be together. What has been specially fun for me is coming back to my parents' place as a mom and watching my own kids have as much fun as I remember having at my grandma's house as a kid. Unlike my grandma, my parents live in the city, but my mom has still managed to create (probably without even realizing it) the same kind of experiences for my kids that I remember having at my grandma's house. These are some of them:
Great food: Nothing like homemade Mexican rice and beans! And tonight my mom is making one of my favorites - banana pudding! When I was little, my grandma would always make homemade tortillas, fill them with a soft creamy cheese called "requezon" and roll them up for us kids. My mouth still waters every time I think of those!
The animals: My grandma used to have chickens, peacocks, turkeys, cows, dogs, cats, birds and deer...yes, deer. My parents only have dogs, which I'm thankful for...they don't need more animals! But the way my son begs to go see the dogs outside every time he hears them bark reminds me of us begging our aunts to take us to see the chickens. My brother also has several fish in a large tank...a favorite with my son as well.
The pool: Nothing like it in the hot Mexican summers. Last night we had so many inflatable mats and rafts in the pool (which isn't very big), you could hardly see the water!
Plants and flowers: everywhere! I remember following my grandma around her yard checking on the progress of her oranges, limes, avocados and coconuts. This year, my mom has grown a papaya plant, a grape vine, a lime tree, chili plants and many beautiful flowers.
The hammocks: endless entertainment for us as kids, and my grandma used to lullaby us to sleep in them. As I write, my kids are experiencing their first swings in my mom's hammock.
And some extras that my grandma didn't have:
The trampoline...not every kid has a grandma who likes to jump on a trampoline!
And the wall-to-wall bookshelf, full of all kinds of books for kids (young and old) to enjoy.
These and many more are the delights that we are enjoying together as a family this week. And more than any of this is the fact that we are so blessed to not just be family, but friends. It's not always easy to find like-minded friends and people who love and support everything you are...we are extremely blessed to have that in each other.
Monday, February 20, 2012
Looking for Simplicity
It's almost the end of February and it's been a busy year already! Let's see...there was false labor, then real labor, new baby, lots of lovely visitors and house guests, two in diapers, family and church commitments, Valentine's, husband's birthday, and now, at the hospital again with our baby girl for RSV.
As much as I've wished for it, my longing for simplicity doesn't seem to be working out. I love being busy and involved, but sometimes I wish I lived in a little cottage out in the country where my main concerns were making delicious dinners, playing with my kids and hearing my family's laughter. The candles would be lit every night, there would be fresh flowers in vases. I would grow my own herbs on the window sill and maybe even venture into planting flowers outside! Oh, and the laundry would never pile up like the rocky mountains around my bedroom!
Ahhh...what a daydream. But of course, if I lived there it would not be perfect, I know. I believe God has us where we are for a reason, all of us. I also believe that I'm not meant to be disconnected from the people and world around me. Still, it takes some adjustment and learning to figure out how to balance everything, let alone just your own home and family!
So anyway, I'm looking for simplicity. I'm longing for it, really, because I honestly don't want to live the crazy-paced life that our generation seems trapped in. I don't want to look back and wonder where time went. I want to enjoy the little joys and moments with my little ones. I want to fully embrace the adventure that my husband and I are on. But I don't want to be a stressed-out, frazzled mom!
But since life itself doesn't seem to be calming down, I guess I'll have to discover the art of simplicity in the midst of it. Like sitting under a cozy blanket with a warm cup of cocoa, looking out the window at a thunderstorm. (I love doing that!) The Bible says God gives us peace that transcends understanding... when it doesn't make sense or it seems impossible, we can still live in His peace! I'm eager to discover how to apply that in this busy life!
As much as I've wished for it, my longing for simplicity doesn't seem to be working out. I love being busy and involved, but sometimes I wish I lived in a little cottage out in the country where my main concerns were making delicious dinners, playing with my kids and hearing my family's laughter. The candles would be lit every night, there would be fresh flowers in vases. I would grow my own herbs on the window sill and maybe even venture into planting flowers outside! Oh, and the laundry would never pile up like the rocky mountains around my bedroom!
Ahhh...what a daydream. But of course, if I lived there it would not be perfect, I know. I believe God has us where we are for a reason, all of us. I also believe that I'm not meant to be disconnected from the people and world around me. Still, it takes some adjustment and learning to figure out how to balance everything, let alone just your own home and family!
So anyway, I'm looking for simplicity. I'm longing for it, really, because I honestly don't want to live the crazy-paced life that our generation seems trapped in. I don't want to look back and wonder where time went. I want to enjoy the little joys and moments with my little ones. I want to fully embrace the adventure that my husband and I are on. But I don't want to be a stressed-out, frazzled mom!
But since life itself doesn't seem to be calming down, I guess I'll have to discover the art of simplicity in the midst of it. Like sitting under a cozy blanket with a warm cup of cocoa, looking out the window at a thunderstorm. (I love doing that!) The Bible says God gives us peace that transcends understanding... when it doesn't make sense or it seems impossible, we can still live in His peace! I'm eager to discover how to apply that in this busy life!
Wednesday, September 21, 2011
Curiosity
I've been pondering a couple questions I heard recently because they are quite deep and I like deep things:
I'm curious to see what it will be like to have a little girl around... to have two kids around! I'm curious to see how I'm going to ever take a shower again after said second child comes along! I'm curious to see what our path looks like around the bend, because I feel there's a bend coming. I'm curious about how God will provide resources, opportunities, blessings as we possibly embark into the life of a med-school-student family. I'm curious about what our family life will be like....most of all I'm curious about how God will teach me to be the wife and mom I'm supposed to be when I have never seen this (medical) lifestyle exemplified first hand.
Curiosity, however, doesn't have to be a lack of faith. It's actually the best type of faith...like a child; an expectancy of all the awesome things God will show us and take us through. At this point, I have no idea how it will all unfold, but I'm confident that He has it all planned out. And it is a huge step of faith for a planner-list-maker like me to put down my calendar and my pen and let Someone else make our plans... specially when they are not in the habit of letting you know what the plan is! :)
This is why life is an adventure and we would be bored if it wasn't.
How did God show up for you this past Summer?
and
What words are defining this Fall season for you?
The answer to the first question is way too long because Summer was way too busy and long...so I have to think about that a little more to come up with a specific answer. But for the second one, I'd have to say that one of the main words that immediately comes to mind is curiosity. I know, it's not the deepest answer I could come up with, but it's how I currently feel. I'm curious to see what it will be like to have a little girl around... to have two kids around! I'm curious to see how I'm going to ever take a shower again after said second child comes along! I'm curious to see what our path looks like around the bend, because I feel there's a bend coming. I'm curious about how God will provide resources, opportunities, blessings as we possibly embark into the life of a med-school-student family. I'm curious about what our family life will be like....most of all I'm curious about how God will teach me to be the wife and mom I'm supposed to be when I have never seen this (medical) lifestyle exemplified first hand.
Curiosity, however, doesn't have to be a lack of faith. It's actually the best type of faith...like a child; an expectancy of all the awesome things God will show us and take us through. At this point, I have no idea how it will all unfold, but I'm confident that He has it all planned out. And it is a huge step of faith for a planner-list-maker like me to put down my calendar and my pen and let Someone else make our plans... specially when they are not in the habit of letting you know what the plan is! :)
This is why life is an adventure and we would be bored if it wasn't.
Monday, July 18, 2011
Tickles, naps & another one!
My brain is foggy.
I could sleep all day.
Food sounds wonderful.
Food smells horrible.
Sometimes I'm dizzy and nauseous.
I think my right eye is getting blurry.
I can laugh and cry within 5 minutes.
I love my bed.
Did someone say dessert?
Here we go again...baby number two will be here sooner than I expected, in just over six months!
It's summer, it's life, and it's moving fast! I'm learning that sometimes it's ok if every surface in my house is dusty but I make time to tickle my little boy and laugh with my hard-working husband... enjoy the moment... dream a little... and always make time for a nap!
I could sleep all day.
Food sounds wonderful.
Food smells horrible.
Sometimes I'm dizzy and nauseous.
I think my right eye is getting blurry.
I can laugh and cry within 5 minutes.
I love my bed.
Did someone say dessert?
Here we go again...baby number two will be here sooner than I expected, in just over six months!
It's summer, it's life, and it's moving fast! I'm learning that sometimes it's ok if every surface in my house is dusty but I make time to tickle my little boy and laugh with my hard-working husband... enjoy the moment... dream a little... and always make time for a nap!
Thursday, June 2, 2011
One Year!
Wow, it has been too long since the last time I wrote anything! As any mom could tell you, sometimes your favorite things to do have to take a seat while you tend to more important favorite things, like my dimply silly goose who turned one today! I have to admit that I didn't see it coming...the emotions, I mean. The whirlwind of crazy adventures, new experiences and bonding moments of the past year all caught up to me and made me a tearful mess. Once again, my hero of a husband was there to hold and comfort, even though he knows I don't always make sense...how can I go on and on about cupcakes and gifts, yet be so sad at the same time? Isn't this a celebration? Well, they say it, you say it, I say it: time flies. There is nothing we can do about it. Yet one of my favorite things about being a mom is that every morning, when my little boy wakes up and holds his arms up to me, he is excited for a new day. His smile is big, his laughter contagious and no matter what we have left forever behind, the day ahead is full of joy and discovery. So was this first birthday morning, and we had fun together and it was a celebration of the joy that God has filled us with through this little life! Motherhood can be so bittersweet, but always more sweet than bitter.
Tuesday, February 15, 2011
Thinking Love
My in-law family did something pretty special this past Valentine's Day. After a delicious breakfast of heart-shaped pancakes and even heart-shaped strawberry slices, each person took turns saying something nice about everyone else. It took a couple hours since there were ten people sitting around the table and no one in this family is shy with words! Yet, except for the 6-year-old who was very antsy to dig into his valentine's candy, no one minded the time it took because everyone was soaking in the words of affirmation coming from each other's hearts. It was a bit of a challenge for me since I tend to fall into the less expressive side of things when it comes to emotions, but I was reminded of how important it is to not just assume that our loved ones know that we love them. They need to hear it and they need to know why. I am one of those constructive criticizers, usually noticing everything that needs improvement. I need to look out more for the things I can praise and encourage in others. I need to seek out ways in which to show that extra little bit of love. It makes a big difference, not only to them, but to my own outlook in life.
Sunday, February 6, 2011
Laundry Basket Full of Thoughts
I just had a random late night conversation with one of my aunts and now there are thoughts running rampant around my head. Mostly about talents. There is a little story that Jesus told his disciples (in Matthew 25:14-30) about a man who went on a trip and left three of his servants with a certain number of talents each. A "talent" in that time meant more than one thousand dollars. The story tells of how when the man returned from his trip, the first two servants had put their talents to good use and invested them, resulting in twice the amount they started with. But the third servant thought it best to his his talent in the ground. This guy got in trouble with the boss!
Anyway, I don't think it's merely irony that the word "talent" was used in that story and that the same word now means something different to us. I believe God gives everyone talents. God never creates anything or anyone without a purpose and each person comes equipped with the talents to fulfill that purpose.
Think about what that means for you. For me, it means that there are quite a few raw talents that are sitting around in my life and need to get off their butts! Furthermore, if my talents were given to help me fulfill my purpose, how will I ever do that, let alone find my purpose, if I don't do something with those talents?
What all this entails for me...I'm not quite sure. Like I said, the thoughts in my head are rampant at the moment. Currently, my tired body that's trying to get over a sinus infection is sitting right in front of a basket overflowing with clean laundry and right next to a monitor with a little red light that tells me my son is still (thank heaven!) sleeping and I better get to bed before he decides it's time for a midnight snack. It's Monday tomorrow and a busy week ahead. Why am I blogging? Who knows! So what was I saying about talents? I don't know!
God has to have a very special grace for moms. Still I pray that He will allow me to see beyond my basket of laundry. Not to neglect or resent it...it's my goal to live out the abundant joy of the Lord in every sock I wash, every diaper I change, every pancake I flip...that is another topic for another day. But I also don't want to neglect the specific talents God has placed in me for a purpose. That's what I mean by seeing beyond my basket of laundry. My husband thinks I fold clothes like they belong in a store display. But I'm pretty sure that's not my only talent or purpose.
That's all the sense I can make for now. : )
Anyway, I don't think it's merely irony that the word "talent" was used in that story and that the same word now means something different to us. I believe God gives everyone talents. God never creates anything or anyone without a purpose and each person comes equipped with the talents to fulfill that purpose.
Think about what that means for you. For me, it means that there are quite a few raw talents that are sitting around in my life and need to get off their butts! Furthermore, if my talents were given to help me fulfill my purpose, how will I ever do that, let alone find my purpose, if I don't do something with those talents?
What all this entails for me...I'm not quite sure. Like I said, the thoughts in my head are rampant at the moment. Currently, my tired body that's trying to get over a sinus infection is sitting right in front of a basket overflowing with clean laundry and right next to a monitor with a little red light that tells me my son is still (thank heaven!) sleeping and I better get to bed before he decides it's time for a midnight snack. It's Monday tomorrow and a busy week ahead. Why am I blogging? Who knows! So what was I saying about talents? I don't know!
God has to have a very special grace for moms. Still I pray that He will allow me to see beyond my basket of laundry. Not to neglect or resent it...it's my goal to live out the abundant joy of the Lord in every sock I wash, every diaper I change, every pancake I flip...that is another topic for another day. But I also don't want to neglect the specific talents God has placed in me for a purpose. That's what I mean by seeing beyond my basket of laundry. My husband thinks I fold clothes like they belong in a store display. But I'm pretty sure that's not my only talent or purpose.
That's all the sense I can make for now. : )
Monday, August 9, 2010
A little world traveller
The longer I wait, the more I miss blogging, the more I have to catch up, the more confusing it gets to know where to start...therefore I apologize in advance for rambling.
I've been a mom for almost ten weeks and so far it's been much more adventurous than I expected, but the baby part has been the easiest part of it all! It is truly miraculous and crazy how in a matter of minutes the strange big bump that has grown on you becomes the cutest tiny being that you instantly fall in love with. You also are instantly overcome with the hugest sense of resposibility and overwhelming sense of incompetence, yet at the same time it all feels natural and even when it doesn't, just a look from those little loving eyes makes it all worth it. I have to say that nursing was a tremendous challenge for the first two weeks and I wanted to give up so many times! But with an angel of a husband and 4 cheerleaders (grandmas and 2 aunties) we made it through.
So I said that was the easy part of the adventure so far. The rest of our past 2 months haven't been hard, just challenging and very interesting. We have done more things and gone more places with a newborn than most people would ever think reasonable, I suppose. Hearing people say "you're crazy" is pretty normal for us by now. This 2-month-old baby has been in cars, planes, shuttles, busses, the metro and a boat. He has been in Monterrey (Mexico) twice, St. Louis (MO), McAllen (TX), New Braunfels (TX), San Antonio (TX), Janesville (WI), Whitewater (WI), Milwaukee (WI), Duluth (MN), Stacy (MN), Brule (WI), Maple (WI) and everywhere in between. He has travelled in his car seat across the country from Texas to Wisconsin and back and from Texas to Minnesota and back. He has been to a wedding, a theme park, a concert and a youth summer camp. He lived outdoors in a tent while camping for four days. He has moved to a different city. He has been to the top of the St. Louis Arch, the top of the Monterrey mountains in Mexico, and the depths of the Natural Bridge Caverns in Texas.
And the entire time he has been an amazing good little boy with minimal fussing, lots of smiles and dimples, and LOTS of poopy diapers! It's been a rather crazy beginning of his little life, but soon we will finally be settling down in our new city ...although I can't say that it will be calm because it never seems to be. But we like it that way.
So if you think we are crazy...we are. I know. And it has been so much fun!
I've been a mom for almost ten weeks and so far it's been much more adventurous than I expected, but the baby part has been the easiest part of it all! It is truly miraculous and crazy how in a matter of minutes the strange big bump that has grown on you becomes the cutest tiny being that you instantly fall in love with. You also are instantly overcome with the hugest sense of resposibility and overwhelming sense of incompetence, yet at the same time it all feels natural and even when it doesn't, just a look from those little loving eyes makes it all worth it. I have to say that nursing was a tremendous challenge for the first two weeks and I wanted to give up so many times! But with an angel of a husband and 4 cheerleaders (grandmas and 2 aunties) we made it through.
So I said that was the easy part of the adventure so far. The rest of our past 2 months haven't been hard, just challenging and very interesting. We have done more things and gone more places with a newborn than most people would ever think reasonable, I suppose. Hearing people say "you're crazy" is pretty normal for us by now. This 2-month-old baby has been in cars, planes, shuttles, busses, the metro and a boat. He has been in Monterrey (Mexico) twice, St. Louis (MO), McAllen (TX), New Braunfels (TX), San Antonio (TX), Janesville (WI), Whitewater (WI), Milwaukee (WI), Duluth (MN), Stacy (MN), Brule (WI), Maple (WI) and everywhere in between. He has travelled in his car seat across the country from Texas to Wisconsin and back and from Texas to Minnesota and back. He has been to a wedding, a theme park, a concert and a youth summer camp. He lived outdoors in a tent while camping for four days. He has moved to a different city. He has been to the top of the St. Louis Arch, the top of the Monterrey mountains in Mexico, and the depths of the Natural Bridge Caverns in Texas.
And the entire time he has been an amazing good little boy with minimal fussing, lots of smiles and dimples, and LOTS of poopy diapers! It's been a rather crazy beginning of his little life, but soon we will finally be settling down in our new city ...although I can't say that it will be calm because it never seems to be. But we like it that way.
So if you think we are crazy...we are. I know. And it has been so much fun!
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